Chloe: "The woods of France. I'd know them anywhere."Lana: "We're in Kansas, Madelyn."
I hereby invoke Billie's eighth rule of television: any episode that starts with burning people at the stake is going to suck. I mean, come on. Lana Lang cackling and swearing revenge as they put her to death?
That said, a lot of this episode was campy fun. Like needing the hair of two virgins. Lois wasn't a virgin. Clark was, though. And Lana was. Guess things with Jason weren't as serious as I thought. What about Chloe? They didn't say.
The three girls vamping in their all black witch originals was fun, too. As was the crazed Risky Business party, the bemused recruiter from Princeton, and Lana tying up Clark and torturing him. Clark half-naked and chained to the wall of the barn was sort of amazing; Tom Welling is built like a brick farmhouse. The guys, Clark, Lex, and Jason, were all victimized by the witches and rescued each other continuously in this episode, which was also fun.
A little heat vision, a little book toasting, and voila. No more witches. Hallelujah. One episode like this was enough. No more magic and witches, please.
Bits and pieces:
— Isobel was after the Kryptonian "three stones of power." Man, everybody wants those things.
— I think the most effective scary thing was Lex forced to play the piano to the point of bleeding on the keys.
— Did you notice that Lana and Chloe had most of the witchy lines, and Lois didn't say all that much? I wonder why?
— Chloe turned 18. That was a birthday to remember.
— Flaming purple letters: "The barn. Midnight." Come on.
— There was a flashback to 1604. That was new.
— Lex confessed getting Jason fired to Lana. Lana was not disarmed or impressed with Lex's honesty. Backfire.
— Lana tossed Jason into a wall, one point, and then out a window, another. Then she threw a wagon wheel at Clark, which makes three.
— Since I mentioned another commentary, I must mention that the one for this episode, done by the director and all three "witch" actresses, was just hilarious. I recommend it. In fact, I liked it better than the episode.
Quotes:
Lois: "Relax, Smallville. It's just going to be a couple of people standing around singing happy birthday. It's not gonna be Sodom and Gomorrah."
Chloe: "Isn't that what you said before the angry mob set us on fire?"
Lana: "You're really not going to let that go, are you?"
Chloe: "The food is so good in this century."
Lana: "And the men actually bathe."
Clark: (facing the dangling bra in his father's hand) "It was magic."
Martha: "I'm sure it was."
Lana: "I was going to come see you."
Lex: "Preemptive strike, just in case there was any Evil Dead action still brewing."
No rating for this one, because I didn't care much for it and I don't think I'll be fair,
Billie
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Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.
There was one important thing you forgot to mention, I think. Magic, like Kryptonite, can actually hurt Clark.
ReplyDeleteI really enjoy this episode simply because I like to see our actors play different people. I am not a huge fan of Lana's, but she is fun when she breaks out.
ReplyDeleteThe whole virginity thing is the what I find slightly silly. We know that Clark is a virgin, but now we know that Lana is one as well (guess we can see where this is going to lead -- eventually). I have a hard time with that. Lana and Jason were together for two months in Paris and now they've been together for a couple of months here -- no sex? Seriously? Not sure that's entirely credible.
Definitely not credible, it's just the writers transparently keeping Clana alive. Lana just feels like someone who's had sex at the point of her return this season, so that's going to be my headcanon. They're in hot water with me anyway, it's hard for me to believe they apparently doted on Lana after how bad they've been making her look this season, and even Chloe too with her reaction to the Lionel swap. Men...
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