Highlander 3: The Final Dimension

Alex: "'There can be only one.' Only one what?"

Realizing the ghastly mistake they had made with Highlander 2, the very same producers decided that the answer was to just re-make the first movie. Yes, it was a smart decision to retcon the entire second movie, but remaking the first one was not the way to go.

The Final Dimension had Christopher Lambert reprise his role as Connor Macleod, and featured Mario van Peebles with a topknot and a nose ring doing a Clancy Brown imitation as yet another invincible, ancient immortal trying to kill Connor. We again had a beautiful young female love interest trying to figure out what was going on, and cops finding headless bodies.

What this movie lacked was, well, almost everything it needed to be a good movie: a coherent script, good acting, a truly scary villain, the rousing score by Queen. They added idiotic magic stuff, too. Come on, folks. Repeat after me. No aliens. No time travel. No magic.

Bits and pieces:

— We learned that Brenda died in a car accident. This bothered me a lot. I know they probably did it because (1) the actress was unavailable, or (2) they decided they didn't want her any more, but Brenda was important. She was the new love of his life, the first big love since Heather, or so I thought.

— So instead of endangering the dead Brenda, they gave Connor another adopted child, John. What happened to Rachel?

— We got a little Karate Kid from the sorcerer Nakano, with Connor splitting fruit in half with his sword. sigh

— At one point, Kane snuck up on Connor. Was Connor's buzz on the fritz?

— Kane is the second immortal villain with a name starting with K.

— I did like the scene with the hooker where she handed Kane a condom, and he tried to eat it.

— Connor had a martial arts expert friend named Charlie. Duncan had a martial arts expert friend named Charlie in the series. They also used a big industrial space for the final battle, something they did a lot in the series.

— We learned that Connor died for the first time in 1536, which would make him only 18. That can't be right.

— Detective: "We got a body here and we got a head over there. I suspect foul play."

This one was more faithful to the original concept and wasn't as painful to watch as the second movie, but it was still bloody awful. One out of four stars,

Billie
---
Billie Doux knows that there can be only one. And that's Methos.

No comments: