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Buffy Season Eight: The Long Way Home, Part 4

Buffy: "Get your favorite blade and be ready for anything and the mother of anything."


So. Warren explains to Willow, his captive, what really happened to him in season six. Amy had been watching, and was responsible for Warren vanishing right after Willow ripped off his skin. "Her magic is my skin," Warren says, and does his usual meandering chattering thing as he moves an exacto knife to Willow's eye, and asks if she's bored now.

Cut to (sorry about the pun) Dawn wanting to crush, kill, destroy, but realizing that her strength isn't proportional to her size and she's too big to get through the portal (only two regular sized people can get through it). Dawn asks Buffy to save Willow and gets in a zinger that Willow is like a mother to her.

As Warren is doing something horrible to Willow, the essence of Willow goes to a refuge in her mind with five very strange and interesting-looking women-things. They show her a holocaust of flames with lots of people in them that is a reformulation of her agony.

Buffy decides to take the scythe and Satsu with her through the portal. Satsu takes a sword and a pink stuffed teddy bear head attached to her shoulder. (For a moment, I thought it was Mr. Gordo.) The portal opens, General Voll and his minions take aim with a huge cannon laser thing, and the Slayers reflect it back on them with a big curved mirror. Big boom. Soldiers flying. Buffy, Satsu, soldiers, much fighting. Guess who wins.

Xander fires up the GPS and discovers that the Pseudo-Initiative base they're attacking is two miles south of Sunnydale. Well, Buffy did want to go home again.

Buffy distracts Amy by zinging her with an image of her evil witch of a mother, Catherine Madison, who stole Amy's body in season one. Grenade. Boom. Buffy and Satsu get past Amy and confront Warren. Warren and Amy manage to get away using magic, while Buffy stares horrified at Willow. Who is... alive and looking just fine, because she apparently healed herself instantly.

On the way out, Buffy finds Ethan's cell, but he appears to be dead. Is he missing half his skull, or is it the artwork just putting half his head in shadow?

Buffy confronts the General and discovers that the symbol on his chest means "Twilight" for all of the Slayers. The General tells Buffy that she cannot be allowed to create a master race. Buffy accuses him of being afraid of women with power. Voll says that Buffy isn't human and that slayer power is demonic. In the final panels, he tells Buffy, "You're at war with the human race." Buffy thinks about it, and responds, "Oh. Kay."


A lot of darkness. A lot of frightening images. A lot of fighting. This one made me uncomfortable. And then Buffy rescued Willow and Willow was okay, and it felt mildly cop-out-y, because I'd gotten the impression that Warren took out her eye and more than her eye. Hey. Willow and Xander could have had matching eye patches.

General Voll could actually have a point. Buffy and the other Slayers are a master race of sorts. But come on, saving the world, people.

Willow was rescued, but basically, nothing else was resolved. Amy and Warren got away. I didn't want Amy and Warren to get away. I don't like Amy and Warren. Dawn is still a giant. Nothing happened with Andrew and the Slayers in Italy. And the Twilight Guys are still out there. Where is the story going? Slayers fighting for their very existence, their right to live? And what was going on with Ethan Rayne and the big red X?

Bits and pieces:

-- The cover is a very large Dawn holding a tiny Buffy in her hand. It highlights the resemblance between them. Sarah Michelle and Michelle T. did look like real sisters.

-- The women-things in Willow's place of refuge were a raggedy mummy looking woman, a woman made of blue smoke, a woman who looked like a Picasso painting, a wolfy woman, and a woman of paper with equations written upon her. Interesting.

-- According to this issue, the next one won't be out until August. August. This is a slower medium than television. Much less satisfying, too.


Xander: "Buf, if that thing's any use, it'll be right away. You jump after and land fighting."
Buffy: "Yes, sir, mister watcher sir."
Xander: "I'll watcher your butt, lady."
So Xander is Buffy's watcher? Or is Xander just a generic watcher and they're just big with the banter?

Amy: "But the witch belongs to my boyfriend. They have a history. She's kind of a history major."

Xander; "Okay, let's stop patting ourselves on the back till we have extraction. And someone ask Dawn to stop jumping up and down."

Buffy: "Hey. Deja thing."

Disappointing. Two out of four stakes,

Billie Doux reviewed all of Buffy and Angel, so she knows the plural of apocalypse.

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