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Vampire Diaries: 162 Candles

“When it’s real, you can’t walk away.”

There’s no reason this episode should have worked. Introduce a new character, let us get to know her, then stake her—these cameo deaths are as old as Lexie herself. But, despite itself, this episode was pretty darn good. Plus, we found out that Damon has a diabolical master plan.

Lexie and Stefan somehow clicked. They felt familiar, right down to the way their conversations went on bizarre tangents mid-stream. And Lexie pinning Damon onto the bed was a nice treat. It reminds me of something a Buffy writer (Marti Noxon?) said about Spike: you know someone is strong if they can beat him; he’s like a pretty-boy litmus test. So is Damon.

Because of that, her death was surprising, and the series of pieces that Damon put into play were a great testament to his manipulation skills. (If he ever needs a job, he could put that on a resume.) If he’s able to pull off framing his brother’s best friend, and using the frame-job to get in good with the founder’s council, maybe we should start to worry about this diabolical master plan of his.

And, hey, I wonder if it has anything to do with Bonnie? Fluffy-pillow tricks aside, Bonnie’s getting into some dark juju. Becoming a witch seems an awful lot like becoming a vampire: a series of emotional ups and downs that are completely out of one’s control. Even though she’s sharing some of the perks with Elena, I’m not sure she’ll be as open about the sylvan somnambulations.

Meanwhile, Matt is okay with Vicki’s disappearance—it’s probably a bit of a relief, only he’s just replaced one confused drunk girl with another. Maybe he can make more headway with Caroline. Oh, I didn’t mean for that to sound dirty. Really, I didn’t.

Jeremy’s okay, too. In fact, he’s better than okay: he’s plugging away at his school work, clean and sober. Damon really went the extra mile when he took away Jeremy’s suffering. He did it for Elena. Or, he did it because he wants Elena on his side. Hard to tell with that one.

Definitely an honesty theme this week: Stefan not coming clean with Elena about Katherine (or, for that matter, entirely clean with Lexie about Katherine, as we'll find out later). Bonnie and Caroline playing the lying game and throwing around the words "best friend" like they're going out of style. And Damon, of course. Always Damon, doing everything he can to fix himself in the center of the universe.


• Lexie: “Unexpected surprise? I guess the wrong brother went back to high school.”

• Sheriff: “We have to consider the possibility that the vampire can walk around during the day.”
Damon: “Hmph.”

• Lexie: “Relax, I didn’t kill anyone for it. This phlebotomist I went out with a few times—he’s my supplier. Oh, don’t judge. Listen, I tried the animal diet. Lasted three weeks.”

• Stefan: “I have no desire to tie Elena to Katherine.” Oh, really, Mr. Pants-On-Fire?

• Caroline: “I didn’t want to tell you this. I’m your friend. And when you wear [the necklace] it makes you look fat.”

• Damon: “You are the only stupid thing here. And shallow. And useless.” Ouch. Damon is evil.

• Caroline: “I want to be like, the abyss-deep.” I recently polled a random high-schooler, and she said the kids don’t say “deep” anymore. They say some variety on “emo.”

• Damon: “I have a diabolical master plan.”
Lexie: “What is it?”
Damon: “Well, if I told you that wouldn’t be very diabolical, would it?”

And Pieces:

• Stefan and Lexie like Bon Jovi. That’s such a great been-around-the-block-a-few-times reference. Lexie even wore slightly out-of-date lipstick, but she made it work. She’s probably seen a few makeup trends come and go. (Elena’s lipstick, though? No explanation for that.)

• My goodness, Bonnie is thin. She can also float feathers. Why do witches always start off with floating stuff? I’d want to make stuff explode. Harmless stuff, like bottles of water. Not puppies. That would be bad.

• I can’t believe the deputy just let that girl cry in the alley. Couldn’t he at least get her a blanket?

• The episode began with a fake-out (Lexie scaring Stefan) and ended not with a bite but a stake.

Three out of four necklaces that make you look fat.

Josie Kafka is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)


  1. I loved that unexpected surprise line :) I am glad you thought that Lexie worked, although it's a shame she almost certainly won't be coming back... unless she's like Godric maybe? Lots of Stefan and Lexie history to tell. And lets face it, Stefan needs more scenes where he smiles. Keep up the awesome reviews Josie :)

  2. Loved Lexie, and was sorry she bit the dust. And Bonnie floating the feathers was like Willow and the pencil.

    But it was Damon that made this episode for me, what a surprise. I absolutely loved him worming his way undercover into the Founders Council, the very body that is trying to find him. It is exactly what Methos did in Highlander -- he joined the Watchers in order to watch himself and make sure no one ever found him.

  3. For all those Lexie fans out there:


    She just joined the cast of Life Unexpected.


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