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True Blood: 9 Crimes

Ann: "I know the truth about life. It's a hell I'll never get out of alive."
Bill: "No one does."

You know what? This has nothing to do with my obsessive Eric/Sookie shippiness, but I just realized that I like Bill a lot better when he's not with Sookie.

All of Bill's scenes in this episode were strong: his exhausted, sarcastic fury with Lorena, the phone call where he broke Sookie's heart, and especially that strong, sad scene in the nightclub where he carefully chose a victim for Russell and Lorena, an unhappy young woman who had no family and no love of life. It appears that in order to save Sookie's life, he is deliberately forcing himself to be the killer he once was. Wonderful performance by Stephen Moyer.

And (okay, had to get back to my Eric/Sookie shippiness) that leaves the field free for Eric. His fantasy about Sookie was so much fun – especially his face when he snapped out of it. Misleading the Magister toward Bill was a clever move on Pam's part, and it'll help Eric save Pam, protect his Queen (who doesn't deserve it), and will quite possibly eliminate his romantic rival as well.

Sookie now knows that Coot took Bill, and that the King is controlling the weres with his own blood. Werewolves tend to bore me, but Nazi werewolves addicted to V makes them less wolfy and more vampy. The unholy communion thing was something else again, and I have to say that you don't see werewolves getting branded every day of the week. How weird is it that both the King of Mississippi and the Queen of Louisiana are doing illegal stuff with their blood?

I'm still digging Franklin Mott, and oddly, considering how incredibly evil he is, he appears to be genuinely into Tara. That scene where he controlled what she was saying was interesting; we haven't seen a vamp do that before, have we? Actually, Russell's minions are more interesting than Russell is. If Franklin is indeed working for the King. I'm confused about that. Franklin keeps trying to find Bill and Sookie, but why would he be doing that if the King knows where Bill is?

Let's see. What else?

-- I loved Sookie's makeover of the damned.

-- Alcide is literally hot. Definitely appealing and looks amazing with his shirt off, but if we're talking shifters, I like Sam a lot more.

-- Except that I'm not that interested in the Mickens plot. The best part was Sam trying to help his little brother, who has at least demonstrated a sense of responsibility toward his undeserving parents.

-- We finally met Alcide's former fiancee, Debbie Pelt. And Alcide's sister, Janice. Is she a were, too?

-- Dueling redheads! Cue the banjos. Jessica working at Merlotte's is fun waiting to happen.

-- According to Chip from Bible study, Jessica is still officially "missing."

-- Lafayette is digging his cool new car, and I loved Eric rescuing him from the Norrises, who don't seem to be anything like they are in the books.

-- Jason hasn't learned anything from his previous experiences and is blackmailing his way into a new career as a cop. Since Bud is retiring and Andy has been promoted, can we assume that William Sanderson is leaving the show?

-- The final scene with the blood dripping out of the limo was a bit much. Especially with three vamps inside. What terrible table manners.


Alcide: "No matter how well you think you know somebody, they can still turn around and kick you right in the nutsack."
Sookie: "I don't have a nutsack."

Alcide: "It's a were thing. We run hot."
Sookie: "I thought that you were coming down with the flu."

Sam's mother: "Sometimes I think that boy's cheese done slid right off his cracker."

Sookie: "Can all vampires fly?"
Eric: "Can all humans sing?"

Kenya: "Well, I guess the only way to get a promotion in this town is to drink like a fish, hallucinate farm animals, and kill a black man."

Lafayette: "I'm just here to up your game. Help you step up in the world. Clean some shit up."
Crystal: "I'll go grab the Dirt Devil from Felton."
Actually, she and Jason are made for each other, aren't they?

Not the strongest outing, and I have no idea where it's all going. Three out of four redheaded waitresses,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. I was perplexed, how did Pam and Eric get the Magister to believe that the V dealing was Bill's fault? It seemed to me Pam just said "Bill did it" and that appeared to be some magical spell. The Magister was very skeptical and accusatory toward Eric initially, and seemed to say that the blood being on his property was enough to convict him. He also disregarded Eric's attempt to pass the buck up or down. So why miraculously is Bill an eligible scapegoat?

    This is something I'd really like explained. Other than that I thought the episode was awesome. Brilliant demo version of 9 Crimes over the closing credits by the way.

  2. Nice review!
    Franklin Mott isn't looking for Bill. He is looking for dirt on Bill, Sookie and the Queen, because Russell wants leverage over Queen Sophie Ann to pressure her into a political marriage (he wants to increase his power and territory, he doesn't really want her). Franklin does want to know where Sookie is and it looks like from the ep. 5 trailer that he will be sent to track her down.

    I am also confused about who exactly ratted Eric out to the Magister. It might have been the Queen, it might have been Russell or maybe Yvetta is a spy for the Magister (or the Queen). I don't think the Magister necessarily believed Eric about Bill, but he was willing to give him 48 hours to prove his accusations.

    Bill is in way over his head with King Russell; he thinks he can manipulate and deceive him, but I think he's mistaken. Eric is in deep with the Magister. It's going to get bloodier and crazier, I think.

  3. Nice review, Billie.

    I got a charge out of this episode due mostly to Bill's story arc. He is absolutely the best thing about this season and I'd never thought I'd say that. I almost hope he never gets back with Sookie.

    Franklin Mott also has my attention and I'm interested to see if he has his own motives, rather than just following the King's orders. As of now that seems likely.

    The other storylines haven't been all too interesting. Alcide, I find too be a big block of wood (maybe cuz I'm a straight male) and the Mickens storyline couldn't be over quick enough. Jason and Lafayette's screen time isn't as engaging as I would have hoped and as far as Eric goes, I actually prefer when he's not obsessing over Sookie. (I'm in the minority there...actually I might be the only one.)

    All in all the show remains to be my best source of summer escapism. Looking forward to whatever badass thing Bill does next week.

  4. Eric's despair to save his child, Pam, was very moving. It`ll be hard for him to lose her after he's lost his own creator. And I love Pam too much so I don`t want to see her gone, so let's just hope Eric can frame Bill - who, I agree totally, is far better off and way more interesting far from Sookie. Oh, the long wait till next week's episode.

  5. I liked this episode and I agree about Sookie and Bill being interesting apart from each other.

    Still can't warm to Sam's family though and Franklin is way too creepy for Tara to be around, not that she's had much choice.

  6. I enjoyed this episode for the most part but I have to admit I am just not interested in Bill with or without Sookie. And although he is an attractive, very well built guy, I think Alcide is boring. I find Cooter the more interesting werewolf.

    Love Eric and Lafayette and Eric's distress over what is happening with Pam. I am also enjoying Franklin Mott and looking forward to what happens with him and Tara.

  7. I liked this a lot better than the previous one. And Bill is much better without Sookie. What I´m not liking very much is Sam´s family and Tara´s storyline, again.

  8. Eric flying out of Lafayette's car! How cool was that!!!

    Tara doesn't seem to have bad luck, more like she's got no luck at all. It's like she became a scapegoat for all terribly poor storylines.

    I wish there was more Jessica. Less kings and queens and... Sookie. And more Bill - alone. Please less of Eric being obsessed with Sookie, he looses his appeal doing that.

    And Lorena... I find her really annoying, she just doesn't take no for an answer, does she?

  9. you have your opinions but heres mine

    i am a hardcore werewolf fan i love the power that a wolf has irl and a man who can control that power is awesome

    and yeah the whole forcing too change on a full moon and losing control is scary but its actually more simple then that leave the day before the full moon go into the woods and change thats it

    ok thats my rant billie and i love your reviews

  10. Thanks, 434444334. What does your handle mean?


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