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Buffy quotes for every occasion. Part 3: Fashion

Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you."

This will probably shock you, but I'm not into fashion. I don't know what looks good, and I really don't care. If it's clean and it fits and it's reasonably presentable and doesn't require high heels, I'm there. I'm season one Willow with the softer side of Sears. Well, maybe not that bad, but I'm probably the polar opposite of Lady Gaga.

Fashion was important to Buffy, though, and even more important to Cordelia. Buffy in particular had a specific look. I actually noticed it, and everything. And unlike Cordelia, Buffy was kind to her unfashionable friends. No "softer side of Sears" remarks coming from Buffy when Xander showed up wearing a large, hideous shirt with acid-green figures on it.

I was usually more into what the vampires were wearing. They tended to stick with basic black with red accents. And Spike wore the same outfit for most of the series, until he started taking everything off in season six. You all remember that I loved season six, right?

So without further ado -- the fashion quotes. Which is your favorite?

Cordelia: "I would kill to live in L.A. That close to that many shoes?"

Buffy: (holding up a sexy dress) "Hi! I'm an enormous slut! (holding up a floral dress) Hello. Would you like a copy of 'The Watchtower'?"

Buffy: "Okay, first of all, what's with the outfit? Live in the now, okay? You look like DeBarge. "

Buffy: "Her fashion sense screams predator."
Willow: "It's the shoulder pads."
Buffy: "Exactly."

Darla: "Do you know what the saddest thing in the world is?"
Buffy: "Bad hair on top of that outfit?"

Angel: "By the way, I really like your dress."
Buffy: "Yeah, yeah. Big hit with everyone."

Cordelia: "No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean till judgment day, you are living with those stains."
Jenny: "Yeah that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat. The stains."

Buffy: "I know you. You ran that costume shop."
Ethan: "Oh, I'm pleased you remember."
Buffy: "You sold me that dress for Halloween, and nearly got us all killed."
Ethan: "But you looked great."

Giles: "No, no, really, I don't think it went in too deep. The advantages of layers of tweed. Better than Kevlar."

Giles: "In order to be worthy..."
Angelus: "Yeah?"
Giles: "You must perform the ritual... in a tutu."

Snyder: "You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms."
Xander: "Yeah. Those tall, fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?"
Oz: "But they go with everything."

Cordelia: "Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on lycra pants."

Angel: "Glove of Myhnegon."
Buffy: "The world's ugliest fashion accessory."

Spike: "I gave her everything. Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy."

Buffy: "I'm sorry. I just, I don't like getting you worked up like that. We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul. Besides, I don't even own a kimono."

Buffy: "Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right."
Giles: "Buffy, slow down. I'm not even convinced that this is genuine mind reading. You're most likely projecting your..."
Buffy: "When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought, Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet."
(This is my favorite Buffy fashion quote. Don't tell my cats.)
Willow: "Man, I've never seen anyone jump like Hogan Martin. They should call him... the jumper."
Xander: "Or a name that isn't an article of women's clothing."

Giles: "Well, based on Buffy's description, I believe the men that we're after look something like this."
Xander: "The latest in fall fascism."

Buffy: "That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."

Bald man: "I wear the cheese. It does not wear me."
Giles: "Honestly, you meet the most appalling sorts of people."

Buffy: "It's beautiful. Thank you, guys."
Tara: "Well, we thought you'd get lots of crossbows, other killy stuff."
Willow: "Yeah, so we figured, less killy, more frilly."

Ben: "You know why I wanted to be a doctor?"
Gronx: "Flattering drawstring pants?"
(This is my second favorite. I don't know why.)

Anya: "Do you think she walked around on clouds, wearing, like, Birkenstocks and played a harp? Because those are just not flattering. You know, the clonky sandals, not a harp. I mean, who doesn't look good with a harp? What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking, right, baby?"
Xander: "You are attractive and have many good qualities."

Shark Demon: "You're an odd duck, Mister Spike. Fighting your own kind ... palling around with a Slayer. And whoa, that suit. Chutzpah must be your middle name."

Buffy: "My hat has a cow."

Riley: (to Buffy in her fast food uniform) "No offense, but this is black ops, and you look like a pylon."

Spike: "It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot. You glow."
Buffy: "That's because the dress is radioactive."

D'Hoffryn: "Oh, breathtaking. It's like somebody slaughtered an Abercrombie and Fitch catalog."

Xander: "Welcome to the Hellmouth, where even outerwear isn't safe."

Torg: "I remember, you wore pink."
Anya: "Those were entrails."

Andrew: "She wrapped evil around her like a large, evil Mexican serape."

Dawn: "We destroyed the mall? I fought on the wrong side."

Next week: Well, I haven't actually decided on next week's topic yet. But I've got it narrowed down to four or five possibilities.

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. Really loving these weekly Buffy quotes, Billie. How about for next week the wit and wisdom of Spike?

    Just out of curiosity, have you given up on the season 8 comic reviews or are you just finding them as difficult to get through as I am? I love Buffy and comics but I’ve been struggling to keep up with this series.

    The long delay between issues hasn’t helped.

  2. Good question, Mark. I'm going to finish season eight, but probably not until after it's completely over. I had planned to catch up during the summer, but it's not happening.

  3. I've got one to add: "Lone fashionable wolf."

    Cordelia mutters that line under her breath once she's been given an ugly graduation gown in "Graduation, Part I."

    These are great quotes--I'd forgotten so many of them that reading it was like finding a lost episode. Thanks, Billie!

  4. From these choices, my favorite is Spike's lament about giving Drusilla beautiful jewels and beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them.

    Did you consider including quotes from "Angel"? Because between Cordelia and Lorne, I'm pretty sure there's a ton of fashionable quotes from that show. Are Angel quotes going to be featured in a future installment? In my last several weeks of watching, I've noticed it's got some really great ones.

  5. I don't know if I'm going to do Angel quotes, too. Maybe I could just do the wit and wisdom of Lorne. :)

  6. The tutu line is my favorite. The picture of Angel in a tutu performing the ritual is too hilarius. Giles rules.

  7. I'm a girl who pays attention to fashion, loves clothes and possibly has a worrying shoe obssession. I also seriously considered watching Gossip Girl for the clothes alone. So i was bound to love the Buffy fashion quotes. My favourites ? The ritual in a tutu quote (i can actually picture it in my head), i wear the cheese and the evil mexican serape. Even though i have no idea what a serape is...

  8. My favorite is when Xander asks Vampire Willow "Whats with the makeover of the damned?"

  9. Buffy: "That probably would have sounded more commanding if I wasn't wearing my yummy sushi pajamas."

    How sad is this - on my first (and so far only) trip to New York I dragged my husband around all the shops until I found a pair of said yummy sushi pajamas solely based on this quote.

    I RELALY need to get out more......

  10. Still so good, 13 years later. Probably too late to comment but I can’t resist.

  11. So sorry, having trouble posting! This should be the post….

    Still good, 13 years later. Probably too late to comment, but I can’t resist. This one has to make the list!
    Spike: Not to be a buzz kill, luv, but my fabulous accessory isn’t exactly tingling with power.
    Buffy: I’m not worried.
    Spike: I’m getting zero juice here. And I look like Elizabeth Taylor.
    Faith: Cheer up, Liz. If Willow’s big spell doesn’t work it won’t matter what you wear.

    But my favorite quote is from season 11, which probably doesn’t count……

    Willow: I don’t want to go back to being what I was before I had it…{magic}…anymore than you want to go back to being a cheerleader obsessed with clothes and shoes.
    Buffy: Is that what you think I was like before?
    Spike: (Her *roommate.*) To be fair, you’re still a bit obsessed with clothes and shoes.
    Buffy: I’m warming to the idea of leaving you here.



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