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Glee: Sexy

“Sex. It’s just like hugging. Only wetter.”

…and this week’s Glee was just like shagging. Only better. Well, maybe that’s a small exaggeration, but Kurt’s sex education and Santana’s romantic realization provided strong emotional scenes that meshed well with the return of Holly Holiday and her own brand of kerazy sex and kerazy information.

Do you want to touch Holly there?

The decision to revolve a sex education episode around Holly Holiday was a risky one. Holly is rather unrealistic character, so too serious a tone would not have worked. Glee has been inconsistent with its messages regarding sex, sometimes glorifying it and sometimes moralizing to the point of the ‘after school special’, but this episode was less about sex education and more about exploring the role sex plays in the lives of individual Glee characters.

Holly’s frankness was a strength here, providing the springboard for Santana and Brittany to discuss the nature of their relationship, waking Will up to his feelings for Holly, and forcing Emma to come to terms with her ‘sham of a marriage’. This last aspect didn’t work so well for me, since Emma was pretty unbelievable in her naivety and aversion to sex. No one is That frigid, and Emma hasn’t been consistently portrayed in such a way before. Plus, Dr Carl is John Stamos! How could you not want a piece of that fine man butt? Ahem. At least Holly bluntly saw right through her and cut to the heart of Emma’s issue, which is her remaining affection for Will. In any real situation, this wouldn’t stop her from getting her sexy on with the finest dentist alive, but the Glee writers seem determined that Emma and Will must eventually reunite. Can I just ask, do we care? Wouldn’t it be fun if Terri turned up on Will’s doorstep, genuinely pregnant after their hook up in The Substitute? I miss Terri, and Jessalyn Gilsig is still in the credits after all. First though, we have some Holly and Will smooching to enjoy. I am happy to see Will opening himself up to the idea of a relationship with someone new, but I can’t see it lasting too long with Holly, mainly because Gwynnie P. is a guest star.

Take a bite of my Blaine tonight

Blaine returned to his former saintly self this week, all confident, clued up and compassionate. I didn’t mind at all since it gave him the chance to have a very important talk with Burt which was rather contrived but brilliantly acted. There really is a lot less information out there when it comes to teaching gay teens about sex, and internet is a dangerous place to get clued up - most parents won’t be lucky enough to have a gay son that mainly thinks about the odd placement of tattoos when watching Those movies. I’m glad that gay life coach Blaine was on hand to point Burt in the right direction. That chat opened the way for Burt and Kurt to have a much more believable man-to-man discussion that resonated with me to the point that I wish every teenage gay guy had a father like Burt.

Santana been afraid of changing

The real afternoon delight of this episode was Santana coming to terms with her feelings for Brittany. I have moaned before that their relationship was mostly played for laughs or cheap thrills, never dealing with the fact that both girls are likely bisexual (and possibly agalmatophilic and dendrophilic in Santana’s case!), even when Kurt was being bullied by Karofsky. Thankfully, the writers have wised up to this previous inadequacy. Santana’s declaration love for Brittany felt real, as did Brittany’s refusal to break up with Artie. Santana’s inability to accept Brittany’s decision made sense – Santana sees boys as purely for sex and reserves her love for Brit, while Brittany is far more innocent and doesn’t separate sex and love, allowing her to love both Artie and Santana. I wonder how Artie will react when he finds out Brittany has been cheating on him, and how the school will react if Santana and Brittany become an item officially.


- Brittany’s cover shoot on the inside of her locker

- Will temporarily forgetting Emma’s name. At least he didn’t call her Ella or Ellen like Sue does!

- The Brit-baby rumour spreading scene – scarily accurate and very funny

- Breakfast confuses me too! I never know what’s appropriate.

- Sue's coffee/enema was mainly syrup. Maybe that's why she's so sweet?

- Puck finding a way to connect with Lauren by tapping into his inner nerd. This makes perfect sense since really Lauren is a big nerd too, she just does a great job of acting like she’s too cool for school.

- Rachel annoyingly taking over celibacy club like she takes over everything

- Quinn’s presence at celibacy club being explained by her return to make-out sessions with Finn

Didn’t Love

- Emma is terrified of the hose monster? Come on writers, didn’t you give her enough hang ups already?

- How much coffee are Blaine and Kurt drinking? Those two never leave The Lima Bean.

- I didn’t get the softball factory reference. Splainy?

- A Zizes sex tape? Even the concept makes me feel faint!

- Yuck, Holly is one of those people who casually says ‘love you’ to people she doesn’t know

- Kurt refuses to talk about sex with the guy he most wants to have sex with?

Glee Against the Music:

Do You Wanna Touch Me (Oh Yeah) – Gary Glitter (Holly Holiday):
I wasn’t sold on the song choice, but the sheer outrageousness of Holly’s leather clad performance won me over (coupled with Will’s turned on/terrified looks), so like the initially frigid Rachel and Quinn, I warmed up to it by the end. Grade B+

Animal – Neon Trees (Blaine, Kurt and the Dalton Academy Warblers):
Completely unnecessary, and completely wonderful. I’m glad that Kurt finally got to share the spotlight, and he made the most of it with his high kicks and animal paws. Blaine’s consternation at Kurt’s sexy/gassy face was priceless. And then they turned it into a big gay foam party complete with bobby-socked school girls and break-dancing! I’m sure you’re all getting bored of my inability to mark Blaine and co. fairly, but after 50+ replays I still think they deserve a Grade A.

Kiss – Prince (Holly and Will):
Very sexy, and completely absurd. Holly and Will did some kerazy dancing while shooting some kerazy hot looks at each other. Also, Matthew Morrison’s falsetto is insane, I could barely tell his and Gwynnie’s vocals apart. B+

Landslide – Fleetwood Mac (Holly, Santana and Brittany):
This was really beautiful, but it was Santana’s performance that really got me choked up. I liked that the song worked for Holly’s realization that she needed to open herself up to the idea of a romance with Will, as well as a way of Santana expressing her feelings for Brittany. One minor niggle, this was much closer to the Dixie Chicks’ cover than the original - why would Santana choose a country style performance? I don’t see her being that much of a country-loving gal. Grade A-

Afternoon Delight – Starland Vocal Band (Emma, Carl, Quinn, Rachel and Puck):
Quite funny, but I found it a little hard to believe that Emma could choose the song and not know what it was about. The long skirts were hilarious, especially Rachel who seemed to be really going for it! Poor Dr Carl didn’t get enough to do, and I would have liked the last song of the episode to be more powerful. Grade C.

Quotes for Gleeks:

Emma: “I am very inspired that both of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren’t ready for intimacy. And for those who are older and are terrified of the hose monster.”
Finn: “Wait, cucumbers can give you AIDS?”
Mercedes: “Seriously. Because I just had one on my salad.”

Brittany: “Three days ago a stork built its nest on top of my garage. I’m not stupid, it’s obviously getting ready to bring me my baby. I know where babies come from.”

Holly Holiday: “I’m off to have kerrrazy sex – because I’m kerrrazy informed about it. Kidding.”

Holly Holiday: “Sex. It’s just like hugging. Only wetter.”

Brittany: “I get my information from woody woodpecker cartoons.”

Holly Holiday: “So, just remember, whenever you have sex with someone you’re having sex with everyone they’ve ever had sex with. And everybody’s got a random.”

Sue: “Porcelain, you just made yourself a powerful enema.”

Santana: “Are you kidding? It’s better when it doesn’t involve feelings. I think it’s better when it doesn’t involve eye contact.”

Holly Holiday: “My sex tape with J.D. Salinger was a disaster.”

Kurt: “I have about as much sex appeal and knowledge as a... baby penguin!”

Holly: “Welcome to my sacred, sexy, sharing circle.”

Santana: “I’m attracted to girls and I’m attracted to guys. I made out with a mannequin. I even had a sex dream about a shrub that was just in the shape of a person.”
Holly: “Well, we’ve all been there…”

Holly: "I thought you'd never ask!"

Sam: “Pretty cool that our girlfriends are such good friends, right? I wish you and I were that close.”

Rachel: "Are you lost, Noah?"
Quinn: "Yeah, you don't belong here, you're the biggest French whore of them all."

Emma: “A nooner's' when you have dessert in the middle of the day, right?”

Holly: “My lips are sealed. Just like your legs.”

Santana: “Brittany, I can’t go to an Indigo Girls’ concert, I just can’t.”

Brittany: “The key is to use your curling iron in the bathtub to keep you from being burnt.”

Puck: “I know hickeys. I’m a freaking connoisseur. I can make them into shapes like balloon animals.”

Holly summed things up better than I could - “That’s awesome, and ridiculous!” This episode had lots of the most unreal, crazy bonkers comedy that Glee does so well, and mixed it with beautiful, frank and emotional character moments resulting in a hefty slice of musical TV pie that left me feeling very satisfied. Mmm Glee pie.

Four out of four hose monsters. Hasta luego!


  1. Loved this episode to bits, the Santana stuff was so needed and we were better off for it as well. I wrote a blog about the episode's take on sexuality but funnily enough Santana's refusal of labels was a theme used on the UK Skins as well this week. Talk about perfect timing.

  2. The more I watch, the more I'm convinced that Glee really should just stick to their comedic schtick + occasional emotional scenes without trying to teach lessons.

    While they've so far avoided all the obvious routes of spoonfeeding us moral tales and stories, their 'issues' episodes still seem to come off as being a bit out of its jurisdiction - cleverly done but still not quite right. Glee should stick to the kind of humour it had in Season 1 (I don't know why but it's just not nearly as funny now save for a few moments) and the emotional stories there (Kurt's story for instance - by putting the gay issue in context of his personal story, it seems completely un-preachy, believable and fitting in Glee's world). I like Will and Holly...too bad Gwyneth isn't a regular.

    And was it me or was Emma extremely annoying in this episode?

  3. Absolutely loved this episode. I thought the song choices were...interesting but very well done. I really liked Kiss even though I also couldn't tell the difference between Will & Holly's voices either and Landslide made me tear up and has been played a good fourty times since Tuesday. I thought that was a really nice way for Santana to come to terms with her feelings for Brittany. I'm willing to warm up to the idea of Brittana but I really like Brittany and Artie as well. This episode had a great script with soo many laugh out loud moments- Afternoon Delight being one of them. Rachel's faces in that song were absolutely priceless. Gwenyth on this show is absolute genius and she had so many perfect one-liners ("sex is like a hug, only wetter & "my lips are sealed...just like your legs. why did I say that? A doctor would never say that"). I'm still not a fan of the Fuinn rekindling relationship on any circumstances. She is naturally using him for her popularity once again and he's too naive to realize it. I wish the writers would just get Finchel back together because their hiatus is killing me. Oh, Kurt's sexy faces? A major bonus for me. Those were hilarious. I'm very excited to see how they perform their original songs for Regionals next week and to see how the whole Rachel/Quinn plot line about Finn goes over.

  4. I enjoyed your review of the portrayal of teen sexuality in Skins, Shaun. It definitely seems that Glee isn't as consistent, or as evolved in it's depiction of LGBT characters. Glee tends to spell things out a lot more clearly and simply, which I think is both necessary for the younger Glee watchers and for USA audiences in general. Just the decision to turn Maxxie from UK Skins into a lesbian for US Skins is indicative that US audiences aren't really ready for a gay male character with hardly any identity/homophobia related issues. I would love to be proved wrong, but I think for now, the kind of educational scenes like those between Burt and Kurt in this week's Glee are what's needed. Of course it helps that O' Malley completely nailed his speech to Colfer.

    Nick, I'm surprised you haven't been finding Glee as funny lately. I have found the most recent episodes to be so comedic as to be dangerous to watch while sipping a drink! Glee isn't always very successful at teaching lessons, but don't you think the Kurt story this week culminated in a very effective And emotional lesson in how to teach your gay son about sex? Yes Emma was annoying as all get out this week :)

    Marissa - Yahoo original songs! I'm so excited too, especially as I haven't heard them. Interested that you got addicted to Landslide while I got hooked on Animal.

  5. I think Glee has done a lot of good work with the LGBT sexuality of characters likes Kurt, Blaine and Santana and hopefully they will continue to after this episode.

    Kurt's conversation with his father was so truthfully written as well, the writers did a great job there.

  6. Re: "No one is that frigid"

    Well, that's not true, though we don't usually care for the word "frigid." There's a small (but largely awesome) minority of people called asexuals, who don't experience sexual attraction. It's not a choice, like celibacy--it's as in-born as being gay or bi. We like to call ourselves aces (short for asexual), we exist, and there's nothing wrong with us.

    Sorry to be preachy--I know you didn't mean any harm, but I shudder every time I see the word "frigid" and the negative connotations it carries. I doubt Emma's supposed to be ace--just hung up on Will--but it WOULD be fantastic to see an ace character on TV (besides Sherlock Holmes, bless his heart). Anyway, I've done my bit for visibility. ^_^ For more info, check out my blog, which I haven't updated in a shamefully long time--or better yet, AVEN, the Asexual Visibility and Education Network:


    -Emily/Flare, a very long-time reader of billiedoux.com <3

  7. Great comment, and you've got a point, Emily. Glee is pretty good with the inclusive stuff, too -- practically everyone on the show is in some way out of the so-called "norm". (Except maybe Finn and Quinn.) It'll be interesting to see if they go this way.

  8. Thanks so much for your comment and links, Emily. I was not aware of lifelong asexuality. Thanks to you, I will sleep less ignorant tonight, and that means a lot to me.

    Regarding Emma, I would like to add that she's got severe OCD with "touch" issues (her washing her hands is a common extension of OCD, not germ phobia as it is often mistaken to be), so her inability to have sex with a man she doesn't fully love, no matter how attractive he is, is actually remarkably consistent with her character. Just cuddling would likely take tremendous effort for her.

    Contrary to popular belief (and popular media), OCD isn't just a stubborn attention to detail. It can be a crippling issue in people's lives, and I applaud Glee for showing how such impairments offer challenges in all aspects of a person's life. As Billie points out, a central part of Glee is to include and embrace people of all types. I'm glad people with mental ailments made the cut. They so rarely do.

    Having said that, there's no excuse for her admittedly hilarious ignorance. I'm surprised how proponents of both sides of the issue always tie abstinence with ignorance. Surely, you can choose not to have sex until whenever and still know what it is. In fact, wouldn't that make you better equipped to remain in control of your sexual life?

    Anyway, tubular review, Harry. I'm in complete agreement about Burt. In fact, every teenage boy should have a dad like him, not just gay ones. Also, I think I'm in love with Holly. Kerazy women will be the death of me.

  9. Did anyone else flash back to the (tv series) Arrested Development's version of Afternoon Delight? And Harry - the softball reference is the US equivalent of a hockey reference in the UK...


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