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True Blood: Turn! Turn! Turn!

Pam: "There is dirt in my bra."

True Blood is back! Gooey, exploding corpses and gratuitous nudity (mostly male) everywhere.

Could Eric please come by and clean my apartment?

I was thinking that if there was a hint of life in Tara, Bill and/or Eric would show up (in response to Sookie's distress) and save her. I didn't expect it to be Pam, and I didn't expect them to make Tara a vampire. As we neared the end of the episode, I thought, no, please don't do something as cliched as having Tara's eyes open at the last moment. Popping out of her grave like a jack-in-the-box was better, and yes, Pam as Tara's mom was unexpected and interesting (and it'll probably be hilarious), but couldn't they have just written Tara out? And how come vampires can bring people back from the dead?

Lafayette lost the two people he loved most at the same time, and I was worried that he would indeed take his own life. The way Sookie and Lafayette supported each other through their mutual grief and despair was the best part of this Tara thing. But what happened to Jesus's body? Did a vampire come by and turn him, too? (I want to make a quip about him turning up in three days, but I'll restrain myself.)

After four seasons at each other's throats, it was great fun to see Eric and Bill bonding the way they did: killing in tandem, trapped in a car trunk as "Silly Love Songs" was playing (which reminded me of a scene in Forever Knight), and wordlessly deciding together on an explosive escape attempt. And surprise – I liked Eric's "sister" Nora immediately. Too bad her undercover status with Authority was just blown when they were taken captive.

Speaking of fun new vampires, it was great seeing Steve Newlin coming out of the closet, not once but twice. (We all knew he wasn't that interested in Sarah's pudding.) Steve said he was changed by a strange woman, and Pam said that Tara wasn't the first vampire she'd made. Can we come to the obvious conclusion that Eric ordered Pam to turn Steve?

Poor Jason now has vampires coming on to him, right and left. Okay, "male, female, and otherwise." While Jessica was hanging out with college kids, partying in Bill's "palace" and having a blast (yes, she's a cherry bomb), Jason was turning down passes from pretty college girls. Jason has grown up so much and become so likeable. Is he actually in love with Jessica?

Meanwhile, Sam was ready to sacrifice himself to protect Luna and her daughter Emma as well as Alcide, which was really cool of him. (I guess the character assassination of Sam that included a double murder is now officially over.) Much like Sookie and Lafayette, it was nice to see that their experiences have made solid friends out of Sam and Alcide. And the pack stuff was intense. (Really. Marcus's mother chowing down on his intestines? Did they have to do that? Do actual wolves do that?) I usually find the werewolf stuff dull, but a power struggle might be interesting. As long as Alcide continues to come out on top.

So the one big thing I came away with was, wow, that was a whole lot of set up, a plethera of plotlines. Can they do justice to this many, or will this season be like the earlier ones – so much going on that the characters I love most don't get enough screen time? Specifically – couldn't they just eliminate whatever is going on with Terry and Arlene, and make them the supporting characters they were supposed to be? And why didn't they write Tara out completely?

At least I am happy to report that, as a major fan of the books, I didn't recognize any of these many, many plotlines. Not one. I was ready for that, so yay.

Bits and pieces:

-- Sookie admitted to Lafayette that she wanted to kill Debbie. Sookie's experiences have changed her.

-- Massive cleaning job in the Stackhouse kitchen, where way too many people have died. Lemons on top of ammonia on top of bleach. Was that Debbie's tooth on the floor?

-- The zombie spell on Pam died with Marnie. Good.

-- Loved Jessica facing down Steve Newlin as a senior vampire as well as a queen in abcentia. She's no longer our baby vamp.

-- Many many naked guys. Even Chris Bauer did a nude scene, and Holly's two sons walked in on them. Wade and Rocky. Wade and Rocky?

-- Bill and Eric got pseudonyms they didn't get a chance to use: Marcellus Clark and Ike Applebaum.

-- Apparently, the fire that burned Terry and Arlene's place (which was really Sam's, since he was their landlord) had nothing to do with the ghost stuff. Terry's friend Patrick lost everything in a fire, too.

-- In this week's hair report, LaLa got rid of all of his hair, something people in mourning often do. Jessica had a green streak. Everyone else looked pretty much the same.

-- Russell Edgington is out of the cement and on the loose. Can't wait to see him.


Sookie: "I'll owe you one."
Pam: "One what?"
It was mostly Kristen Bauer's delivery that made that one funny.

Steve Newlin: "I swear it to you and I swear it to God, I am not here to hurt you. All I want is to talk."
Jason: "See, you say that, but I seen your fangs. And I've been around the block enough times to know that fangs are basically like twin hard-ons."

Pam: "I'm wearing a Walmart sweatsuit for you all. If that's not a demonstration of team spirit, I don't know what is."

Steve Newlin: "I'm a gay vampire American. And I love you, Jason Stackhouse."

Eric: "We fight like siblings, but we fuck like champions."
Come on. Did they have to jump on the incest bandwagon and have Eric call Nora his sister? She's not his sister!

I don't expect Chekhov from True Blood. It's what it is, and I enjoy it for what it is. (Basically, it's like sexy popcorn.) Three out of four Walmart sweatsuits,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. I love reading all of your posts you make about the shows/books etc. I read everyone!

  2. The incest angle seems to be an HBO trend now, even though it's not reallly incest. Great review, and I agree that the Bellefleurs are characters that do not need their own storylines. I'm split on Tara, they should've just left her dead, but I am interested in seeing how she is as a vampire.

  3. I loved it!!!

    From the moment Tara was shot last year, I was hoping they'd make Tara a vamp, but I was still shocked that they did. I expected Pam or Eric or Bill or Russell to give her blood and she'd heal.

    Tara seems like she's going to be kind of crazy and feral at first, but I think she'll level off before the end of episode 2 and comes to terms with being a vampire. It's not such a bad thing....to be a vampire. I'd jump at the chance to be a vampire in a heartbeat.

    I think Vamp-Tara will ultimately be a force for good. (Sookie, LaLa, Vamp-Tara, Sam and Alcide together could be like a super team – Justice League Dark.)

    The Terry and Noel storyline reminded of THE X-FILES episode SLEEPLESS. I don't know what to make of it yet.

    I cannot wait to see what Chris Keller (Chris Meloni's character on OZ) does when he gets into the storylines.

    Arlene's kids are growing! If the show runs beyond season six (which I don't think it will; OZ, THE SOPRANOS, SEX AND THE CITY and LOST all ran six seasons; that's kind of the threshold for serialized primetime shows – bow out while still good; I know BUFFY ran 7, but the first was only 12 episodes, so technically it's like 6 and 1/2), they'll have to do a Walt with Arlene's kids.

  4. Love your reviews as always, Billy! And I love this show. I was laughing out loud last night during the entire episode. Through the gore and spookiness! I don't understand why they needed to make Tara a vampire, either. And how could they if she were already dead? I agree that Terry and Arlene's arc needs to end!! Borrrrrriiiiinnnnngggg. Cannot wait for next week! I missed this show a lot!

  5. Here's hoping Tara really did wake up crazy and they'll have to put her down, Vampire Diaries style. I also agree about the Bellefleur's plot being completely unnecessary; for me the same goes for the werewolves, though I'd quickly miss the sight of Alcide naked :)

  6. Eric and Nora were probably my favourite thing about this episode, followed closely by the Eric/Bill bromance. Even though the line wasn't anything special, Eric's "MY PHONE IS UNTRACEABLE NORA!" was hilarious. More Eric/Nora this season please.

    Looking forward to Chris Meloni and Russell Edgington. I think I'll skip over the Jessica, Tara and Terry scenes (Although I may watch the Terry scenes for Scott Foley).

  7. My worst fear came true but it could be expected that Tara will be turned. So Tara is still around but I´m glad that Pam is her maker and not one of the guys. That will at least give us some good oneliners till she hopefully meets the true death really soon. I don´t believe that Pam is Newlins maker. There is a video on the season 2 blue ray where she recalls her experience with her progeny Colin. Hence there is probably no link between the things Pam and Newlin said.

    Somehow I missed that Tara jumped ot of the grave :( When did that happen?

    Stories not necessary: Andy/Holly (and now her kids? Duh!), Terry/Arlene/Patrick and Hoyt (since he isn´t with Jessica or Jason anymore he serves no purpose)

    I like that Sookie will spend some time apart from Bill and Eric and that there will be more interaction with her actual friends (poor Lala - where is Jesus corpse?). I missed that last season. But I thought that Sookie was quite composed while holding the dead Tara in her armes and negotiating with Pam.

    Eric and Nora are ridiculously hot together and them being with Bill against the Authority will be great. I´m glad that the new and absolut hilarious names are not needed anymore. I had a good laugh when the vampire seals roped down the ship instead of jumping down.

    Sam and Alcide teaming up could be nice also I´m not really invested into the wolves story.

    And I´m so excited for Russel, Steve and the Authority.

  8. I'm so glad this is back, finally!

    That was a great review, Billie, and I agree about Tara. I kinda wished she would just have been written out completely, but I have to admit, I'm very curious to see how she'll handle this whole vampire thing, especially with Pam as her maker.

  9. what a great comeback! I loved the espisode and laughed hard, a thousand times.
    Pam in the Wal-mart sweatshirt, Reverend Newlin and his coming out of the coffin/closet, Eric and Bill's bromance, Eric and Nora, it was great, great, great.
    I feared Lala would suicide but I'm glad he got rid of that horrible hair - I know it's symbolic ofr his mourning, and I shoudl be touched, but I was glad to see it go. I just wonder how fast he did it!
    A few plotlines remain of very low interest, especially Terry and Andy, but that 's something everyone has already said.
    I'll just add that Jessica is growing to be a full vampire in attitude and sexyness, and she may be the hottest vamp-girl in a long time. And that I don't believe Pam was Newlin's maker - I still believe Russel made him , it can't be a coincidence they both reappear at the same time.
    Lots of fun! I missed it!

  10. I liked it but I also feel it was a bit off and all over the place. Too many things happening that didn´t connect with each other.
    Loved Pam and loved how the episode picked up where the season four finale left off. But I didn´t want Tara to be turned.

  11. Can I just say that I hate the incest discussion regarding Eric and Nora. It´s not incest otherwise Bill would have had a fling with his "mom" and I think it´s save to assume that Eric and Pam or even Eric and Godric had these kind of relationship. With them there was never this incest discussion and I think it´s quite ridiculous to open this box now regarding Nora and Eric. Vampire relationships work outside this mind frame. So maybe all the hate targets against Eric being with someone other than Sookie.

  12. Eric's sister is an English-accented vampire called Nora. I'm now picturing exactly how Barney Stinson's wedding could go really, really wrong if his ex were to show up...

    I love Eric and Bill together. Then, just as I was beginning to really enjoy them as a pair and thinking 'finally, a whole season of these two being awesome and funny together', Alcide tells Eric Edgington is back and Eric doesn't tell Bill. Eric's had enough of running around after Sookie - Bill hasn't. When that cat gets out of the bag, Bill will be maaaaad. Le sigh.

    I'm interested in Terry's storyline, but not so much vampire Tara and definitely not Andy (please, please no more fairies....)

    Billie, I admire your restraint on the subject of 'Jesus' body has disappeared' ;)

  13. for me it was a good episode.
    is it only me who noticed Alcide's call to Eric and Eric face? Eric is respecting Sookie's will not to be around them ( Bill and him) anymore... but he still is protecting her, through Alcide.
    I like Nora too, and I wasn't scandalized she and Eric had more that a frienship, since we have not to forget they are vampires, and family bonds for them are very different... all in all a well done ep...

  14. Detective Stabler is the Authority... lol

  15. I felt like Billie's review was waaay better than the episode itself. And followed by Mad Men all the naked men started blurring together (including Roger Sterling)...
    I could not wait for TB to start but I feel like I was a bit underwhelmed.. I hope it all gets better from now on.

  16. Sorry I'm late to the party on this one (my computer's been dead for weeks), but I was surprised at how much I've missed True Blood. This is a show which seems to walk the fine line between comedy and horror effortlessly. In fact, I've missed it so much, I'm not even pissed off about Tara being alive. I'll save that for episode two...


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