Home Featured TV Shows All TV Shows Movie Reviews Book Reviews Articles Frequently Asked Questions About Us

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters

I think I may be alone in the critic world. I loved it, but not because it was a good movie. This was a campy gore-fest a la Army of Darkness that reveled in the fact that it was what it was and made no bones about it. It falls into the category of a movie that most consider bad, but for some it is a lot of fun. In other words, the producers took the silly premise and ran with it.

This movie rests most of its gags on cheesy anachronistic dialogue reminiscent of an 80's buddy cop movie, and equally as anachronistic and absurdly styled medieval weaponry. The frenetic and often confusing action was mostly well done, but the gimmicks got a little tiresome after a while. The only thing that really saves it is the attitude the script takes, setting the tone right away that this wasn't going anything approaching serious.

There are a couple issues of controversy. First and foremost, this is a brutal film and almost all the action is violence against women. Except for two of the leads, these women were all depicted as horrible evil creatures (in creature make-up, no less) bent on causing as much death and destruction as possible, and the imagery felt more than a little misogynistic.

Case in point: The heroine, who is pretty bad ass, gets beaten up twice by groups of men, and subsequently saved by men. I don't believe it was the intention of the producers to create this uncomfortable dynamic. Unfortunately, that isn't an excuse, especially when those aspects could've easily been handled a bit differently. The only thing that reverses the misogyny is the fact that there isn't a single male character that has any kind of supernatural power... unless you count the troll.

Secondly, this film takes place in a period of history where real people were being burned alive for often flimsy and paranoid reasons. Witch hunts caused many innocent deaths. Here, that history has been co-opted by the fantastical, turning those fake witches into real ones, the conceit being that all witches are evil, and the best way to kill them is to burn them.

The term 'Witch Hunter' is literal here, with the title characters surviving a very effective opening sequence with the candy house and the evil witch. This time the parallels were intentional though, even using one of the big early sequences as an introduction and exposition dump while an innocent woman was being threatened with death by burning at the stake. I won't say what happens, but suffice it to say, Gretel doesn't like it when people are falsely accused.

The real highlight for me was Gemma Arterton as Gretel, who along with a fabulously well done practical effects troll, basically stole the show. Hansel was good too. Jeremy Renner is a solid lead, but he didn't go outside his established persona much. What I really enjoyed was the interplay between the two siblings. They supported each other and cared for one another without pretense or evasion. There were a couple of very genuine moments between the two, although unfortunately, the actors also seemed to have some romantic chemistry. That chemistry mostly worked as a simple familial connection, but there was one scene that felt uncomfortable with a bit of subtext.

The plot was shallow and clich├ęd, but there were a couple of fun twists that I could totally see coming. The one romantic plot kind of fizzled without any real pay off. The villain was played by the scene-chewing Famke Janssen, and I thought she did an okay job, even if she was a little too over the top. The human villain (Peter Stormare) was mostly just moronic, and his character and plot line could've been removed entirely without any detrimental effect on the story or the characters. Well, except for one that could've been brought about in a different way.

Overall, I thoroughly enjoyed this one, although I'm pretty sure not many others will. If you like gory fantasy with plenty of action, this is the movie for you. I imagine it'll become a cult classic further down the line, but for now it is a critical bomb.

2 out of 4 Trolls named Edward.

Samantha M. Quinn spends most of her time in front of a computer typing away at one thing or another; when she has free time, she enjoys pretty much anything science fiction or fantasy-related.


  1. Sounds fun! Oddly enough I've been curious about this one for a while, even though I was pretty sure it wouldn't be anywhere in the neighbourhood of "good"! :p
    But I'll probably wait to rent the dvd... unless there's absolutely nothing else worth watching in the cinema when this comes out here and I'm desperate for a movie session... That or my curiosity gets the better of me... ;o)

  2. My wife and I almost saw this yesterday (I'm ashamed to admit it was just because we wanted movie popcorn) but at the last minute we went for sushi instead. Maybe next week.

    I'm no fan of religion in real life (to put it very mildly), especially religions that lead to human sacrifice by bonfire, but I actually don't mind a movie where witches are real and evil. PC witches who are feminist nature worshippers have become something of a cliche at this point, so seeing them portrayed as evil again is actually a little refreshing. I just wish someone would make a movie that dealt with vampires the same way. "Angst-pires" are getting really tired.

  3. Just another brazen attempt to cash in on the current craze for supernatural shows and movies. It would bother me, on principle, to know I had spent money on something like this.

  4. It never bothers me to spend money doing something I enjoy. I look forward to seeing this!

  5. "Witch hunts caused many innocent deaths."

    According to recent estimates, about 40,000 to 60,000 in Europe alone.

    "for mostly flimsy and paranoid reasons"???

    Are you kidding? They were ALL contrived cases. Just being accused was usually the equivalent of an automatic death sentence.


We love comments! We moderate because of spam and trolls, but don't let that stop you! It’s never too late to comment on an old show, but please don’t spoil future episodes for newbies.