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Castle: Love Me Dead

“Who needs proof? What a great story!”

Secrets. Sometimes they get you killed; sometimes they freak out your father.

D.A. Jack Buckley is thrown off a roof. Known as a tough on crime prosecutor, it turns out he’s also a pimp. Hate when that happens.

The young woman working as an escort to pay her way through law school is not a new idea. It is, however, a very bad one. I am admitted to practice law in the state of New York. Not only did I have to pass the bar exam, I had to undergo a thorough background check. A solicitation charge, I promise you, would have prevented me from ever pursuing a career in the law. Forget about the D.A.’s office.

Which leads me to the problem I have with this episode. Castle is meant to be a writer, intuitive, able to tell when others are spinning a tale. Scarlett’s tale is so absurd, I find it difficult to believe how easily he bought into it.

I believe he did because Scarlett used her femininity and her sexuality, two things against which Castle is powerless. She cried through the initial interview and then turned up on his doorstep beaten up. The knight on his white charger that is not all that hidden in Castle raised his sword.

I’m not denigrating this side of Castle’s character. I’m just saying that we have seen it several times before and, this time, I knew what the true story was before the detectives did. That is not a good way to tell a mystery story.

I’m not sure what the Alexis story is meant to show us, especially as the secret is so silly. With all the subterfuge, I thought for sure that it was something much more significant than the girl wanting to go away from home for three weeks. Ryan and Esposito helpfully list all the problems a girl of her age may encounter.

The best part of this episode is Norman Jessup. A felon who wants to be a locksmith, I love his attitude and I love the way he talks to Caskett. Even better, it is he who provides the clue that leads to the correct assessment of the crime.

Not my favorite episode, it is saved from being really bad by Jessup. Two and a half out of four novelty coffee mugs.

Tidbits:

— The guy who was Jack Buckley’s body is called Jeff Castle.

— A prostitute named Scarlett Price? Really?

— Sometimes, these guys prove they're not as good at their job as we would like to believe. At the end of the show, when Scarlett is arrested, everyone walks off leaving her laptop on the table. The laptop, one presumes, that has her client list and list of girls. By walking away, the chain of custody has been broken and the laptop would be inadmissible. I hope Scarlet has a good lawyer.

Soundbites:

Castle: “You know, I was in a bar fight once.”
Beckett: “Really? Who won?”
Castle gets punched, “Ow!”
Beckett: “Let me guess. Not you.”
This is almost certainly a Firefly reference.

Beckett: “I’m not his girlfriend. I am a homicide detective.”

Martha: “What is the matter with you? Why didn’t you just ask her?”
Castle: “Because that would be prying, and cool dads don’t do that. They go behind their daughter’s back and they beg Beckett to tell ‘em.”

Jessup: “In case you guys haven’t noticed, I’m somewhat of a wordsmith, you know? A real master of, you know, of, uh…”
Castle: “Words?”

Castle: “Thanks.”
Beckett: “For what?”
Castle: “For not saying ‘I told you so.’”
Beckett: “Oh, that starts tomorrow.”

ChrisB is a freelance writer who spends more time than she ought in front of a television screen or with a book in her hand.

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