"No, a human."
That's right, beauties and beasts: that's the best quote I could come up with for this ersatz review of the CW's reboot of the delightfully wonderful 1980s fantasy show Beauty and the Beast. Meant to capitalize on the darker side of our current obsession with broody heroes and their barely-contained violent urges, the new Beauty and the Beast stars that girl from Smallville that everyone hates, and a guy with a scar. And that's all I can tell you, since I only got 29 minutes into the episode.
