by Josie Kafka
After a string of episodes that consisted mostly of people driving around the South while talking on their cell phones, it was nice to get (almost) the whole gang together at the Armory, even though—of course—things didn’t quite turn out as planned.
Fixing Bonnie is the goal of the gang, and fixing the show is the goal of this episode. It’s on its way: Damon and Stefan got to talk about their feelings, their characters, and their differences before hugging out all of their issues. Aww!
Damon, going solo in the Big Bad Basement, got to kill the final everlasting. Or something like that: he lit a body on fire, and somehow that cured Bonnie, and if there’s more to that element of what happened in the basement, I missed it while cuddling with my cats. (Sorry.)
Caroline got back together with Stefan, which means she and Alaric broke up. How do I feel about this? I’m not really sure. I always liked Caroline and Stefan as friends, which puts me on the fence about their romantic relationship. Adding kids into the mix—and breaking Alaric’s heart—makes it even harder for me to cheer that Caroline is now going to live, I assume, separate from two adorable girls who call her Mommy.
Bonnie got to beat up her boyfriend but didn’t have to kill him. Afterwards, she stitched his skin to his sweater. (At least, that’s what it looked like.) Hooray to the not-dead-Enzo part of that plot.
Matt got to visit with his dead girlfriend after risking his life to save Bonnie and, by extension, a bunch of vampires that he allegedly spent the past three years hating. His arc through this flashfowards wasn’t particularly effective, as his hatred of vampires was more of a plot device based on a mistake than any sort of sensible, organic assessment of what a disaster his entire life is. Oh, well. We can’t win them all.
Everything looked hunky-dory just before the last commercial break, so of course we got a reversal: Elena’s voice lured Damon deeper into the Big Bad Basement, he turned evil, and turned Enzo evil. Flashforward three months, and people are missing on the West Coast: Damon and Enzo (or something wearing their faces) is hunting people. Luckily, Caroline, Stefan, Bonnie, and Matt are looking for something to do.
Does that fix the show? It might. Does it fix Bonnie? More or less. I’m 100% ecstatic that she is no longer the “villain”: that plot couldn’t end soon enough for me. But now she has no magic, no best friend, and no boyfriend. At least we have, potentially, a more exciting season to look forward to in just a few months.
Bites and Pieces:
• Damon: "Let me guess. It’s an ancient, tentacled evil that will destroy the world as we know it."
Enzo: "Don’t be ridiculous. No tentacles."
• The best thing about this episode: I watched it on my TV, which is on top of my brand-new TV stand, built by me (manufactured by IKEA) with not a single tear, bruise, or weird particle-board splinter. Victory!
Two and a half out of four IKEAs.
Josie Kafka reviews The Vampire Diaries, Game of Thrones, and various other things that take her fancy. She is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)