by Josie Kafka
We’re here, dear readers. After eight seasons, we’re finally in the home stretch: just 16 episodes left. The end is, in fact, nigh. And that means we’re all wondering if TVD will go out strong or whimper its way to an end.
This episode looks promising. Damon and Enzo have been booted from Team Free Will and are now the unwilling minions of a really, really evil puddle. Well, something that lives in a puddle. Okay—spoiler alert!—it’s a Siren, one of those mythical enchantresses that can be outfoxed only by a wily Greek wanderer. And, apparently, Enzo.
It took me a while to figure out how Enzo could have planted clues about the Siren before he was overcome by the Siren. I guess he must have discovered what lived in the Armory’s basement during the three-year time jump, and that’s why he kept mansplaining The Odyssey to Bonnie. Does that make sense? (Do I care if it does?)
Either way, Enzo gave Bonnie just enough clues that she knows what she is fighting, and she has just enough Alaripedia to begin to formulate a plan. That’s a good thing, since Alaric is now the boss of the Armory. He’s got interns! (Alaric, don’t sleep with the interns. You’ve already got an “it’s complicated” relationship with a former student who is close friends with your dead ex-wife’s almost-dead biological daughter.)
Speaking of that relationship…so far, I like where the show is going with the whole Alaric/Caroline thing. It seems like they’re good at co-parenting, and it’s nice to see people actually struggle with balancing work stuff and life stuff, since in Mystic Falls, jobs and school never seem to take any time from the soap opera lives our heroes lead. But I’m surprised that Caroline would be willing to move away from her daughters; she started this episode micromanaging their sandwiches and ended it by agreeing to move out. Weird, right?
Maybe it’s the eternal allure of Stefan’s hero hair, which was in full force this week. He’s in rock-steady Stefan mode right now: on the cusp of saving Damon from himself, boyfriending the heck out of his relationship, etc. I wonder if this last season will see a reappearance of the Ripper.
I wonder if it will see a reappearance of Elena, too. Without her, this show treads water. Without her, Damon treads water. He’s turned his humanity switch off (oh, that again!) and is stuck doing the bidding of an ancient evil. Will he regain enough control to win his free will back? Will Bonnie have to die to save him? Will Matt ever return to Mystic Falls, or wherever the show is set these days? Is Tyler still alive? I don't even remember.
Those are good questions to have, although I’m excited for TVD to come to a happy close. I would like everyone (who isn’t evil) to live happily ever after. Can we make that happen, please?
Bites and Pieces:
• Damon is reading Fifty Shades of Grey.
• OMG Virginia St. John bit out her tongue!
• According to showrunner Julie Plec, all of the episode titles this season are lines from the show. That doesn’t fix the fact that this episode’s title makes me think of Buster Bluth saying “Hey, brother” in Arrested Development.
Three out of four sandwiches with the crusts cut off.
Josie Kafka reviews The Vampire Diaries, Game of Thrones, and various other things that take her fancy. She is a full-time cat servant and part-time rogue demon hunter. (What's a rogue demon?)