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Veronica Mars: The Rapes of Graff

Logan: "You're a really sweet girl, but..."
Hannah: "But what?"
Logan: "But I'm not a sweet guy."

Hearst College is an obvious set-up for next season.

I thought Hearst looked like a larger version of Sunnydale High. And just like Neptune (and Sunnydale) High, Hearst made me uncomfortable. That was probably because of the immediate introduction of a nasty rape plot that strongly resembled what happened to Veronica at Shelly Pomroy's party many moons ago.

There were a lot of new characters to keep track of, and I sort of didn't. Except for the nice, ooky tour guide Dean from Illinois, and the returning and possibly no longer despicable Troy Vandergraff. Chivalry was Troy's new watchword; he even got punched defending Veronica's honor. The title, "The Rapes of Graff," pointed at Troy, but he didn't do it, did he? We still don't know who did. There was obvious fingerpointing at the Pi Sigs with their disgusting point system for scoring, but no.

Meanwhile, back at the Neptune Grand, Dr. Griffith knuckled under and Logan's case was dismissed. (Yay.) But somehow, Logan went ahead and tried to have sex with Hannah, anyway. Sweet little Hannah is now in a private school in Vermont. (Yay.) If that's all Griffith does to him, Logan got away easy. What was Logan thinking, going back on their agreement? I'd really like to know what was going on in his head.

The Cliff subplot was very funny ("Gone on puzzling errand. Back later, Dad"). Daphne a.k.a. Sugar Jones stole Cliff's briefcase containing Logan's case file, and couldn't identify the guy who commissioned her to do it. If the case was dismissed, why would anyone want those files?

Maybe Logan's files were a red herring. Maybe it was one of Cliff's other cases: "a drunken assault, a lewd conduct, a fraud, a divorce." Or Cliff's address book, receipts, keys, and copy of Elle magazine. (Talk about mysteries. Why would Cliff have a copy of Elle?) Plus, we got the strange new information that Sheriff Lamb was making it with eighteen-year-old idiotic Madison Sinclair. What's up with that?

Every mystery introduced in this episode was unsolved, wasn't it?

Bits and pieces:

— Veronica's photo of the basement scoreboard got the jerkwad Pi Sigs probation. They're not going to be happy with Veronica if she goes there next year. Yes, let's insert some ready-made conflict for season three, shall we?

— Loved Veronica at the party giving Bird Dog the beer in the face as well as the taser. That was Bird Dog, right? I wasn't kidding about being confused by all the characters.

— Veronica in the wig shop giving a teary Oscar-worthy performance about her runaway Hawaiian sister was also very cute.

— Dick and Logan were playing Mortal Kombat, not partying like Ozzy. Not life-takers and heartbreakers. No, I'm wrong. Logan's a heartbreaker.

— Hannah's "get out of jail free" cake with file for Logan was very sweet, pun intended. I wonder if that was why Logan ultimately couldn't resist her.

— It was nice to have Wallace undercover with Veronica again.

— So we have an essay contest on the subject of freedom. Winner gets a week's internship as Woody Goodman's apprentice, and the chance to push the plunger that blows up old Shark stadium.

— Speaking of which, the Fitzpatricks were implicated in the bus crash again, since the Fitzpatrick goon Danny Boyd was working with explosives.

— The name "Hearst College" brought the famous William Randolph Hearst to mind. He had a castle, San Simeon, built in southern California for his mistress. It's a lot further north than the fictional Neptune, though.


Logan: "You lied to a janitor?"
Hannah: "I've resigned myself to burning in hell. You know, all the girls on track are jealous of me."
Logan: "I'm sure they could burn in hell too if they'd just put in the effort."

Veronica: "Really, Troy. You're just water under the bridge. (to herself) Duplicitous, evil water."

Logan: "What happened to Madison?"
Dick: "Bailed. According to her friend, she met someone more mature."
Logan: "Where? At Legoland?"

Keith: "How did you call me?"
Cliff: "Acrobatically. I might have pulled a hamstring."

Cliff: "Wow. You must be on good terms with the Neptune Grand security people."
Keith: "When my daughter dated a billionaire's kid living alone in the president's suite, me and the security guys got pretty tight."

Keith: "My god, Cliff, you're like a wild animal. Is that what the kids call motorboatin'?"
Cliff: "I have a zest for life. So sue me."

Loved the Keith and Cliff subplot. The unsolved Hearst rape plot made me uncomfortable, as did Logan and Hannah. So I don't know what to give this one,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. Cliff is amazing and him partnering with Keith is a hoot. I also loved Veronica giving her speech about her Hawaian sister.
    And also, don´t call me a doofus but I´ve only just realised that the tour guy Dean is Michael Cera.

  2. Interestingly, I had noticed Michael Cera when it aired, but only rewatching it now I realized the girl who was raped is Alia Shawkat (who played Cera's cousin in Arrested Development)

    And the scene at the wig shop just made me remember how it was weird Veronica telling Trina she couldn't act...

  3. *telling Trina she couldn't act in 'My Mother the Fiend'...

    (sorry about the double posting, I stopped writing to look up the name of the episode and then just hit the publish button... :p)

  4. One of my favorite VM moments was Cliff and Keith being prepared with the "It's Legal" campaign poster.

  5. Dad, your hooker's here lol

  6. The Cliff and Keith story was one of my favorites yet. I laughed every time those two were on screen together. But, I have to agree with Mark, the '18 is Legal' poster made me howl with laughter. What a classic moment.


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