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Smallville: Facade

Clark: "You think I'm going to cheat? I won't cross that line."
Jonathan: "You won't even know where that line is, Clark."

Yes, it's that old saw: beauty comes from within. Really.

It's senior year, so it wasn't surprising that Clark's longing for football finally overtook him in a great big gridiron way. And this was of course paralleled by poor Scabby Abby literally knocking the guys dead with her new face, courtesy of her psycho plastic surgeon mom. Who was, of course, obsessed with Lana Lang, because everybody becomes obsessed with Lana Lang. Gee, do you think there was K in that "special process"?

Jonathan was (again) hot under the collar about the football thing, and I gotta say that he had a point. It wasn't just that Clark might inadvertently hurt someone. Clark playing football is just inherently unfair to everyone else. Clark can't possibly play without "cheating," even if it's unintentional. But Clark also had a point, that it wasn't fair to deprive him of what other kids were allowed to have. Not that every kid who wants to gets to play high school football.

Lois flunked out and must repeat some classes at Smallville High. I was wondering what they were going to do plotwise with Lois' tender youth. Does this make her a year older than Clark? If we actually knew for sure how old Clark really was, that is, baby in a spaceship and all. (And I'm not talking about Tom Welling. As fond as I am of him, he has never looked like a teenager to me.)

Bits and pieces:

— There was a flashback to freshman year, with Eric Johnson returning as Whitney.

— Martha is planning to run the Talon to help pay Jonathan's hospital bills. How mildly emasculating for Jonathan.

— Lois doesn't want to be a reporter. Surprise, surprise. But she certainly seemed proud of her first big story.

— More Buffy parallels. There were lots of episodes about Buffy doing stuff like trying out for cheerleading because she wanted to be a normal girl. There was also "Inca Mummy Girl," where a former mummy kissed guys and sucked the life right out of them. The effects were even similar.

— Lex and Lana, both in black, sure looked like a cute couple to me. Lex wasn't all that happy to see Jason at Lana's sickbed. Lex must be jealous.

— Abby kissing Lana was a pseudo-lesbian surprise. Sort of un-Smallville-like.

— Chloe gave Lois and Clark a look in the end. She was certainly seeing them as a possible couple, even if no one else has as yet.

— Lois hit Brett with her car, and he smushed the windshield. Two points. Lana broke a great big mirror, one point. Clark broke the glass in Abby's mother's office door, one point. That makes four.

— Hard to see last time what with the near death and all, but Chloe's hair is longer. No beauty salons when you spend two months hiding, huh?


Chloe: "You know, socially divisive cliques and hall passes aside, this place really isn't all that bad."
Lois: "It's the varsity version of Dante's seventh ring."

Jason: "I don't know if you can even hear me, Lana, but if you knew how much you meant to me..."
Lex: "I guess the polite thing to do is cough and let you know I'm standing here, but that always seems so forced, doesn't it?"
Guess Lex knows their little secret now.

Clark: "It's a brain chemical..."
Chloe: "That LSD and hallucinogens mimic. It's also the word Lois misspelled three times in her slander piece on extreme makeovers."

Chloe: "Welcome to the bull-pen, Miss Lane. Now I'm off to see Clark Kent in a wet T-shirt. Care to join me?"

Two stars,

Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.


  1. Anyone else find it funny that Abby's last name was Fine?

  2. Martha is planning to run the Talon to help pay Jonathan's hospital bills. How mildly emasculating for Jonathan.

    Yes, but did you notice that he (wait for it) gives her permission to take the job??? I'm sorry. Your wife is going out to work to pay for your hospital bills and you allow her to do this??? Give me strength.

    And, oh yeah, "adults in this family" discuss things before acting on them. That is, unless you want to cut a deal with Jor-El. Then it's all right to go ahead and do it without discussing it with anyone.

    Lex is becoming more and more protective of Lana. This is not going to be good for whomever she ends up with. Heaven help us if/when he discovers the truth about where Jason is working.

    Poor Chloe. Probably thinking that Lana has a beau now and she might stand a chance. There must be some nice boy we can find for our girl. She deserves it.

  3. Not sure if this was an intentional nod, but Chloe mentions Lois's inability to spell serotonin three times. It would be nice if this is a reference to the movies where Lois can't ever seem to spell. :)

  4. Cassie, you are write. That was an intentional node about Lois misspelling issues.

  5. I'm really unenthused about the return to football of Clark Kent. Part of it is that on some basic level the American fixation on high school football baffles me, but the high school aspect of Smallville has always been a weak part of the show. Their school-centered episodes tend to run to cliches like bullies on the football team and mean girl cheerleaders.

  6. Surprised to find out I kinda share magritte's feelings. Lois joining the cast has been great and kind of unexpected how suddenly and seamlessly she weaves herself into the Smallville fabric already. I was gonna add "without filling in for any departures" but then I remembered poor Pete and how bad I feel about even the in-show characters not really giving a shit, lol... no "Dad it's my final year, with Pete gone I want to get back into football." NOTHING. So many of these old shows are so transparent about this, just enough foresight to include one significant blackaracter to stave off any "too white" criticism, but with no real commitment to doing anything decent with them.
    But what I was trying to say is, it feels surreal now to just be back at highschool after all that... failed murder attempts on significant characters, Lana's departure to Paris, Pete leaving. Chloe and Lois just existing in the same scene, lol. And Clark is being really unsympathetic here, he never made a good case for being on the team before and literally nothing has changed now. It's kind of annoying, I hope he actually does have a scare where he trips and injures someone. Grow up already.

    I think Jensen aged like wine, because I'm weirdly not attracted to him here, at all lol. Yet I was madly in love watching him recently on The Boys. Here his face looks too... skinny, or something. It makes his juicy lips distracting to me. And oh YEAH I forgot this was before his terminal voice acting changed his voice forever.


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