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Smallville: X-Ray

Clark: "Mom, if you could see anything, what would you do?"
Martha: "Learn to close my eyes."

In my opinion, this was the first good episode of Smallville. We had a truly creepy villain: Tina the shapeshifter, who murdered her mother and single white female'd Lana; Clark dealing with the unexpected manifestation of a new power, x-ray vision; and better-written dialogue that included tongue-in-cheek Superman references. There was even humor, with Clark's x-ray vision giving him an unimpeded view of Lana nude in the girls' locker room.

So it turns out that Lex is obsessed with how Clark rescued him on the bridge in the pilot episode. That's interesting. And Lex has a juvenile record – about something that happened at a place called Club Zero. A record isn't exactly a surprise for a future criminal mastermind, though. Now if Lana had a record, that would be a shock.

Bits and quotes:

— Lex's car had a vanity plate: "Lex."

— We didn't get to hear all of Lana's mother's controversial commencement speech. Small favors.

— There was mention of two newspapers: The Inquisitor and the Daily Planet.

— This week's hits: Tina (as Lex) threw Clark through a shop window; a mirror broke when Tina's mother went down the stairs; Tina (as Clark) nearly ran Martha down; Tina threw Clark out of the barn and onto the Kent family truck in a hail of broken glass; Tina also tossed Clark across the cemetery and he tossed her back. I think that makes nine points.

Lex: "I promise. I'm not a criminal mastermind."
Clark: "I know. A criminal mastermind would have worn a mask."

Three stars,

Billie Doux had a love-hate relationship with Smallville, which is why some of her reviews are briefer than they should be.



    - Ooooookay. First clue something's wrong? Lex is wearing a backpack. That's just wierd.

    - Wow. Lizzy Caplan looked so YOUNG here. Still very cute, and still a pretty damn great actress, though.

    - I can just imagine how they filmed that scene where we see Tina's face go from her own, to Lex's, and back again, and Lex having to come on set wearing what Tina's wearing. Too funny.

    - Oh, what I wouldn't do for some X-Ray vision of my own. :) I do so love the X-Ray special effects, to, heh.

    - Tina: "What can I say? You have the perfect life." Lana: "You want it? You can have it." Prooooobably not the best thing to say to a shape shifting meteor freak, there, Lana.

    - Again, the background SFX from when ClarkIna was driving the car were spotty, at best. Ah, well. The cheese is what we love, no?

    - Hah. The Pocket Knife bit was fun. :)

    - It just occurred to me... They could have just as easily called this show, "The Uninteresting Adventures Of Lana Lang" and it still woulda worked. Or even, "Everyone Loves Lana."

    - I DO rather like the shapeshifting SFX, though. Pretty damn cool, they are.

    - So pretty much EVERY meteor freak has super strength, I think. Plus a little something extra, for each of em.

    - Lex's revenge/subsequent screwing with Roger the reporter was pretty awesome.

    - Really, Lex? You outsmarted this reporter moron and think he can actually help you with your Clark mystery? COME ON!!!

    - Yeah, I think that the worse punishment that Satan could give someone is to turn them into Lana Lang. Nooooothing worse than that.

    - Man... could you imagine if they had cast Lizzy Caplan as Lana instead of Kruek? That woulda been pretty awesome. Ah, well. One can dream, right?

    - That fight scene between Clark and WhiTina just seemed wrong, to me. I mean.... after all.... Clark was hitting a GIRL. She probably deserved it, yeah, but he was still smacking around a girl. That's not very Supermanly.

    - Why didn't WhitTina escape after Clark threw her against that tree? I mean.... she wasn't unconscious, clearly. She managed to open her eyes. But what does she do? She just sits there against the tree and waits for to fuzz to take her away. Just sad, that be. Just.... sad.


    - Tina didn't murder her mother. That was accidental, at best, I think. Not that Tina's entirely innocent. Even though she was probably dead when she got to the bottom of the stairs, Tina's still wrong for saying the 911 call was a wrong number. But, then, hey.... she was kinda psychotic, sooo....

    - Only record Lana would have is for most people put to sleep during her smallville scenes. :)


  2. Agree that this was the best episode to date, but still a way to go. But again, I love the set-ups that keep coming -- especially with Lex and his obsession with the car.

    I had forgotten how far back some of the stories go, so I have been pleasantly surprised by this re-watch.


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