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True Blood: Trouble

Tara: "We need to talk."
Franklin: "Don't say that. Women say that, everything goes black, and I wake up surrounded by body parts."

I gotta say, my favorite part of this season so far is lunatic vampire Franklin Mott and his obsession with Tara.

It's not like this sort of thing is funny in real life, because it most certainly is not, but Franklin manages to be totally creepy and freaking hilarious at the same time. As was Tara finally figuring out that she could manipulate him, only to have it backfire on her. The supertexting had me laughing like a loon. So did Talbot treating Tara like a house cat. One of the things I love about True Blood is that you just don't see stuff like this on television.

It's no secret that I'm an Eric fan, and yes, I'm happy that his character is front and center this season. But this week's developments had me going, what? The wolf stuff goes back over a thousand years? Was Russell controlling a pack of wolves that long ago? Okay, it does explain why Eric and Godric were hunting Russell back in the forties. And Eric as a human was a drinker and carouser? That scene was almost exactly like a similar one in Angel. And Eric was a king? Actually, I'm okay with that, since he looks and acts like one. But without going book spoilery or giving details, the massive differences in Eric's backstory are really bugging me.

Anyway, moving right along. I'm not going to speculate on what Sookie's magic purple force is because I've read the books, and sometimes Alan Ball goes with the book stuff and sometimes he doesn't. But Russell seems to suspect. Bill has been unsuccessful in keeping Sookie safe from Russell. Fortunately, Eric is already in the mansion and jonesing for thousand-year-old payback. Revenge is a dish best served cold, as the Klingon proverb goes.

Alcide told Sookie, "Pack isn't a democracy. Most weres don't have much sense. You saw. They're all teeth and fight and sex." That explains why Alcide can't see through a toxic woman like Debbie Pelt -- no sense. Maybe that's why I'm just not into the weres, even with Alcide's indisputable hotness. He's just not my type. Eric is my type. They're polar opposites, in more ways than one.

I've figured out what's bugging me about this season. There's too much going on. Too many plot threads, too many characters, and with so many to cover, the ones I find really intriguing and fun aren't getting enough screen time. Like Jessica, for example. One brief scene of her glamoring people to stiff Arlene on the tip was hilarious and so very Jessica, but that's all we got. Plus a brief hint that Hoyt is over and Tommy Mickens might be in Jessica's future. Tommy thinks Jessica is too hot for Hoyt. He's probably right, but I like Hoyt. Can a vamp date a shifter? It seems like mixing species or something, like a cow dating a rabbit.

And speaking of Tommy, what has Joe Lee been doing to him? I thought at first it was physical or sexual abuse, but that doesn't fit. I can't remember where I read it, but someone theorized that Joe Lee has been entering Tommy in dog fights. That makes sense, and would explain all of Tommy's terrible scars. How horrible. Actually, it's horrible when it's just dogs, too. Maybe Sam was lucky, after all.

Bits and pieces:

-- Jason's adventures in police work didn't do much for me until he started going nuts with office supplies. Ryan Kwanten has a genuine gift for physical comedy.

-- And on the romance front, Jason and Crystal pretty much recreated that magical Bill/Sookie scene in the woods from the pilot episode. Crystal kept talking about stuff that made it sound like she's got a supernatural secret, too. Like everyone else in Bon Temps.

-- I was more entertained by how Lafayette reacted to Jesus' romantic pursuit. It showed us a whole new side of Lafayette. I thought his surprise and shyness was so sweet.

-- That crown wasn't silver, I suppose? It sure looked silver.

-- Loved the fluffy Scarlett O'Hara nightgown.

-- Eric was flirting with Talbot. I think Eric is capable of flirting with anyone.

-- Russell intimated that the tiresome medieval Magister doesn't have any real power. The Magister going down would be good. After he executes Russell, that is. And possibly Sophie Ann.

-- Let's hope Tara's last meal isn't at the Shoney's in Vicksburg. I'd want an expensive Italian restaurant, at the very least, and chocolate mousse plus creme brulee.

-- The estate they're filming in is just gorgeous.

-- How about if we take up a collection and send Russell and his household a case of wetnaps?


Talbot: (pouting) "You're not supposed to bring work home."
Russell: "Darling! King!"

Sookie: "I am not gonna die because of your shitty girlfriend and a Mississippi pothole."

Eric: "You're here of your own accord. Which means..."
Bill: "Sookie is no longer mine."
Russell: " A king in front of them, a queen behind them, and they're talking about a human girl."
Talbot: "Men."
What did Talbot mean by "men"? Vampire men? Straight men? Straight vampire men?

Franklin: "Hey, Tara. Watch how fast I type 'motherfucker'. It's cool, isn't it?"
Tara: "It's amazing."
Franklin: "I'll delete it so you can watch it again."

Terry: "This is what normal people do, Sam. They fall in love, they make each other laugh, they move in together, they raise kids, they fight over money, they get old and fat together, and it's normal. It's happening to me." Poor Terry. This will not end well.

Arlene: "I never thought it would happen again. And again. And again... and that other time, too, but especially now." Arlene really should figure out what's causing those pregnancies. If it's Rene's, she doesn't have the orgies as an excuse.

Jesus: "I'll hang. It's only nine hours. Nothing else to do." What a sweetie.

Crystal: "Where's your badge? Where's your gun? Where's your shirt?"

Tommy: "What's the matter?"
Jessica: "My ex."
Tommy: "Him? For real? He looks like he got bombed by radiation on his way to middle school. That's a giant sixth grade boy right there."

Franklin: "Will you be my vampire bride?"

Let's say three out of four trips to Shoney's in Vicksburg,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. I know that people who have read the books are having minor meltdowns here and there because AB is deviating from the original story. But for some of us who have never read the books, the story is just convoluted and fascinating. I have the sense that Bill and Eric are reversing roles somewhat this season, with Bill showing his dark side and Eric showing his softer side. I love the darker Bill and I miss the darker Eric. And once again, Bill puts his eternal life on the line for Sookie.

    I have no idea what is going to happen next. It's hard not to get spoilers on the show, but I have no idea of what Sookie's lightening strikes are about or why Bill had info on her. Argh, the anticipation.

    Good call on the wetnaps. Maybe someone should send a memo to Talbot. Is all the gore a reminder of the fact that vampires are like savage animals?

    I'll let you keep Eric and I'll keep Alcide!!!

  2. Anybody want to guess that Eric's last fight before being turned was against werewolves? He fought with such fury that Godric was impressed. Vengeance can do that.

  3. I will definitely agree with the too much going on. That's what has been bothering me. Some of it I don't really care about (Sam, Arlene, Jessica). Some of it I do. But I'm afraid they may drag this out like the whole Maryann thing.

    I also loved the Lafayette storyline, I figured it was coming when Jesus looked at him in the nursing home. The genuine surprise by Lafayette gave the episode some nice sweetness without being overly sweet.

    If I were Tara and I got free, I would leave Bon Temps immediately. She's had nothing but bad luck in that town. Actually, I think of the town as being a Southern Sunnydale, something weird is always going on there.

  4. Damn Tara needs to consider temporary celibacy after this....Girl cant catch a break. Whos gonna be her next love interest, Ben Lynus?

  5. Wow, I loved this episode! I am kind of bummed that True Blood isn't an extra 15 minutes long because that is what they need to do justice to their storylines, they've got a few too many for the length of their episodes!

    Because of the plethora of disparate storylines I rarely see an overarcing theme in the episodes these days. I really hope the theme wasn't just that all our characters are getting into trouble, because that is a bit simplistic. Also, it fits last week's episode just as well. Maybe more so, what with Jason doing some blackmailing and Lafayette failing at V dealing without Eric's help. The rest of the characters have been in trouble from the get go this season. And if the theme is trouble, then oh dear for Jason and Lafayette, because I really bought into both their new romantic partners, they've got good chemistry!

    Funny that Crystal is a big book character and yet Jesus isn't in the books (for obvious reasons, if you've read the books) but I haven't a clue what's going to happen this season with either of them. Same for Sookie's glowy hand. I hope it is handled well, since it could be a rather big reveal when it comes. AB better not drop the ball on this one!

    One last thought - I wasn't convinced at the wonderfulness of Franklin Mott until this episode, but now I'm starting to look forward to the next scene with him and Tara. Maybe it's because she's finally trying to escape/take control instead of just being a victim the whole time.

    Ok one more last thought - yes Bon Temps is totally like a Southern Sunnydale! Or is every sleepy Louisiana town full of supes in the True Bloodverse?

  6. I tried to read the books but didn't like the style of writing so I barely made 1/4 of the way through the first one. I enjoyed this episode for the most part but admit I skipped through some scenes (Bill, Alcide, Jason). I love Franklin and think he is a great addition to the show. I want him to stick around. Anytime I get a lot of Eric I am a happy camper and I was amused by his flirting with Talbot.

    Lafayette and Jesus have the potential to be a lot of fun and I am looking forward to see how their relationship plays out.

  7. I have a feeling joe lee has been "studding" out and putting Tommy into dog fighting for money. Can u imagine? ewwwww

  8. Jason's arcs in the first two seasons were very strong. I don't think his story this time round is particularly good. This is my favourite episode of the third season so far, I loved everyone hanging out in Merlotte's again. it hasn't happened much since the first season.

  9. Loving the episodes and getting more and more intrigued by the arcs. Season 3 is doing great so far.

  10. Was it this episode or the next one that also stole a line wholesale from Buffy? ('I'll tear out your ribcage and wear it as a hat.' The answer from Whistler was 'hello to the imagery, very nice!').

    Also, I just need to say, I love Talbot. He is awesome. He and Eric would actually make a weirdly good couple, if I didn't want Eric to be with Sookie.

  11. I'm just watching the season and loved when they showed the the outdoor scenes of the King's home. The shots are of the Longwood Plantation in Natchez, MS. The outside is finished and gorgeous! The inside was never completed -- only the basement rooms. Then the Civil War began. My husband's family lives in Natchez and it's an amazing tour to take if you ever have the chance.

    Love reading the reviews even though I'm always a season behind. Thanks!

  12. I liked this a lot. And even Tara wasn´t annoying as the previous episodes and Franklin is creepy and funny at the same time.
    Too bad there´s not more Jessica though.


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