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True Blood: Hitting the Ground

Lorena: "What are you?"
Sookie: "I'm the bitch that's gonna kill you."

This episode was wild, weird, and even bloodier than usual. But at least it was more focused, and there were rescues and everything. It flowed better than the last few. Let me re-mention the weird thing, though.

What the frilly heck was going on in the Bon Temps cemetery in Sookie's head? I've been waiting for Claudine – yes, she's a book character – but that scene was so far out in left field that I was thrown. It had the flavor of an early Maryann-induced orgy crossed with a cartoon version of heaven. And Sookie has no blood type? Really?

Whatever she is (and please, no book spoilers in the comments! remember, not everyone has read the books), Sookie would seem to be the opposite of what Bill is, light to his dark. When Bill was tossed out of the truck, he stared at the sunlight on his hand, mesmerized, and didn't immediately burst into flames. After a time, yes, he did start to smoke, but drinking Sookie's blood must have made him less flamey. Claudine told Sookie not to let "him" take her "light" away. How? Why? What?

There was a lot of much-needed rescuing going on. Sookie rescued Bill, Tara and Alcide rescued Sookie, Eric rescued Pam. And Sam rescued his little brother. I've been lukewarm about the Sam/Mickens plotline, but the culmination was quite satisfying. Sam went undercover as a very cute pit bull, stood up to this father, freed Tommy as well as all of the exploited dogs, and even ran around wearing only a leash – very nice. I really liked Sam talking to the dogs as if they knew what he was saying, too. They probably did.

And thankfully, Eric rescued Pam just in time to save her from pierced eyelids, which was a look I'm sure wouldn't have suited her at all. I almost liked Russell for executing the Magister, too. That vicious toad certainly had it coming, and he wasn't anywhere near as brave under torture as Pam was. Russell and Sophie are now married, if the "Authority" allows it. What does that mean? Do the states merge? Mississippianna? Louisissippi? And who is the ultimate vampire authority if it isn't the kings and queens or the Magister?

That nasty craptastic Magister needed to go, but I actually felt sad about Lorena. Sure, she was despicable, but the passion, violence and twisted sex gave Bill a lot of added dimension. Bill with Sookie is boring, and I hope the series writers have realized that. I'm certain Sookie will forgive Bill for nearly killing her, screaming or no screaming – but frankly, I think the show would be better served if she moved on.

Alcide certainly seems like a viable romantic option for Sookie. He came through for her in a big way, and he even had the foresight to bring a panel truck instead of a pick-up. Debbie is going to be a huge problem, although why any woman would prefer Cooter to Alcide is inexplicable. Oh, that's right, Cooter is dead. Three deaths, not two.

Bits and pieces:

-- Loved the queen in a great big birdcage.

-- I'm not in love with the grossout goo of death. Check out Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Vampire, stake, dust, no muss, no fuss, and less work for the production assistants.

-- Claudine (who was reading Sookie's mind as Sookie was reading hers) told Sookie that it "wasn't the water that killed them." Sookie's parents? Are they alive and well and in cemetery orgy world?

-- Joe Lee's dirty, sagging underpants are probably this week's Most Obvious Symbolism. Sam just took everything of value from Joe Lee and left him bereft and broke, as well as looking like a fool.

-- Debbie said that Alcide refused to have furry babies with her because he didn't want to bring another of their kind into the world. It does add a slight measure of sympathy to Debbie, I suppose. (Very slight.) Does Alcide hate what he is, much like Bill?

-- Hoyt has a new potential honey named Summer who brings him homemade biscuits. He does not need a girlfriend who is just like his mother. I wonder if they're setting up Summer as Jessica's next victim?

-- Jason smuggling meth into the jail might not be the best thing for his new career.

-- If Sookie doesn't have a blood type, how could they harvest her organs?


Lorena: (to Bill) "I love you."
Sookie: "You wouldn't know love if it kicked you in the fangs."

Debbie: "Vampire burrito? For me?"

Jason: "I never really thought I was smart enough to get depressed."

Hoyt: "I bet you a hundred to one her middle name's 'Meth'."
Good one, Hoyt.

Summer: "I like you, Hoyt. I want to be your girlfriend. And I really want you to taste my biscuits." Can you say, double entendre? Just like Sarah Newlin and her puddin'.

Eric: "Mmm, mmm. Give her three stars." Hadley and Sookie are both mm-mm good. Is Hadley whatever Sookie is, while Jason is not? What did Hadley tell Eric? The Queen knows, too. When will we?

Sam: "You're just a scared man in saggy underpants with no discernible life skills whatsoever." Bravo. Tommy needed to hear that.

Pam: "You can dish it out but you can't take it. Can you, Magister?"
Eric: "Let's see how this plays out, Pam. You can always taunt later."

Magister: "I hereby pronounce you husband and wife."
Russell: "Thanks."
Sophie: "Yes, thanks. So happy I could bleed."

Three out of four tasty homemade biscuits with freshly churned butter and hand-picked strawberry preserves,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. I don't want Cooter to be dead. I love Grant Bowler as someone completely evil.

  2. I am one of those people who have not read (and probably will not read) the books (thanks for the no spoilers policy!). I have no idea what the "cementery orgy" scene was about. For a moment I thought I accidentally had changed the chanel and an 80s soft porn movie was playing. Can Sookie and Bill cancel each other out? So confused...

  3. I miss the Magister. He was such a cool badass, and Zeljko Ivanek is always utterly fantastic in whatever he's in.

  4. I was a little disappointed with some parts of this ep. Nothing big, but the obvious lack of Lorena all over Bill's face, a split second after we've seen him literally drenched with her was very noticeable to me. If you're going to have fountains of blood appear over someone (gross), you gotta see it through!

    I am also a little gutted about Claudine. Without being too spoilery she is just Not like I imagined her from the books, not at all. Then again, Alan Ball has to know this so he probably has something good planned for her. Or, we'll never see her again. Who can say for sure with True Blood!?

    Great ending :-) Glad Pam's back in the game and ding dong, the witch is dead. That holds true 3 times in this ep. Though you're right Billie, Lorena was a great character who made Bill much more textured. Lets hope she and Godric both stick around in vampire flashbacks :-)

  5. I'm starting to think theres something else going on in the Sam and Tommy plotline, it ended a little bit too easily.

  6. I'm starting to think theres something else going on in the Sam and Tommy plotline, it ended a little bit too easily.

  7. Not the best episode we've had but intriguing enough.

    All the deaths ranged for me. Lorena's was a disappointment, Cooter's only effective because of Debbie and the Magister's as oddly humourous.

    Wondering who/what the Authority are because as dangerous as Russell is, he could be out of his depth going up against them like that.

    Sookie's lineage got some exploring in this one. Claudine fascinates me but the dream stuff was cheesy for this show.

    Only five episodes left. And Tara's still kick ass.

  8. I like this season waaaaay better than the last one.

    But all my patience with teasing has run out with LOST. They'd better tell what the frak Sookie is by the season finale, or else I'll ask my friends who've read the book.

    Tara is becoming a character I like again. But Jason is still too uninteresting. I hope they write him off. He's taking precious time from Jessexyca and Lafayette.

    And I agree. The trippy cemetery party was too cheesy.

  9. I’m willing to let this one off for the complete and utter absence of Jessica because Pam was finally back. This season has been seriously lacking when it comes to Eric and Pam scenes. We need more Eric and Pam scenes dammit! Especially if Eric continues to wear the blue jumper that is making me have even more of a man-crush on him.

    Seriously, I thought this show couldn’t get any sexier than Jessica in a Merlotte’s waitress uniform but then they had to go and put Eric in that jumper.

  10. Hahaha Mark I love it :-) Why is it that Eric plays gay for a few episodes, wears pastel blue and we all fall even more in love with him?

  11. "That's because that shit is Inuit". I watched that scene twice and laughed hard. I love Lafayette. He's got excellent lines and his acting is marvellous. And Pam back, wow, what a relief. For a split second I thought that magistrate would kill her and that would be a huge loss to the program, which is getting better and better. Let's just hope Bill and Sookie do not get together again - they literally suck together! Alcibes may be a great match for her, now that Eric is seeking for his revenge and looking fantastic in pastel. Wow! If he was hotter, my screen would melt.

  12. I liked some bits of the episode but the gross out deaths are grossing me out and also pissing me off. That just hurts the series.
    Also, that scene with Claudine is bad.
    This season is really being weird.


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