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True Blood: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Eric: "You'd better get back to slaughtering people in the name of God."

Lots of plotlines this season, yes. But most of them have been revolving around the same theme: humans that think supes are subhuman, and supes who, like people, are all over the map. Surprisingly, two big plot threads were actually resolved in this episode. I hadn't expected that.

Everyone who theorized that Bud Dearborne's girlfriend was the Dragon behind the supe shooters should pat themselves on the back. Bud and his sweetie, whose name is actually Sweetie, decided to start a KKK-like "keep America human" movement, because of course, that always ends well. Our human heroes Andy and Jason, together with our shifter heroes Sam and Luna, saved the day as well as the lives of Sookie and Hoyt. I think the best part was Sam fighting while stark naked, and Luna beating the crap out of Sweetie. Go, Luna.

It's ironic that Andy thinks he's a bad cop and a poor successor to Bud when actually, Andy is the best he's ever been. Sad that he had to shoot Bud, though.

Bud was the one who found the bodies of the Stackhouses twenty years ago, and he said they were indeed killed by vampires, just as the striptease fairies told Sookie. And vampires really are planning to take over the world, just as they told her. Maybe this particular group of fairies really are the good guys. Lafayette even confirmed that Gran was glad the fairies were watching over Sookie. Although Lafayette uncovering the clue under the bed nearly got Sookie killed.

The second resolved plotline was Terry's, and actually, I thought it ended particularly well. Terry saying goodbye to Arlene was truly sweet. And Arlene taking down Patrick was satisfying, although I didn't like seeing Terry kill in cold blood. I hope the Ifrit and any associated plotlines are now gone for good. Yeah, that'll happen.

Meanwhile back at Authority HQ, I was bummed when Bill betrayed Eric. (And just when I thought those two were finally becoming BVFFs.) Bill does appear to have that manic Lilith glow in his eyes, but is he truly a convert or does he have a bigger anti-Authority long game? I'm not a huge Bill fan, but I'd hate to see him go that way after all the time he spent living down his evil past.

Plus I've always been convinced that Bill truly does love Sookie. "What about Sookie? She just food to you now?" I guess she is. At least that would leave the field clear for my favorite vampire, Eric. I'm really enjoying Eric acting heroically. And I loved his scenes with Molly. I hope Molly survives the season.

The other big development was the arrival of Alcide's father in the form of sci-fi icon Robert Patrick, complete with a flashback to Herveaux senior as packmaster, and Alcide and Debbie Pelt as teenagers choosing pack over individuality. Segue to Russell and his new honey Steve Newlin (I just love the two of them as a couple) arriving to take over the Shreveport pack, as expected.

And now Steve has the werepuppy he's always wanted. I bet our hero shifters Luna and Sam will have something to say about that.

But wait! There's more:

-- Pam was smart to keep serving Tru-Blood at Fangtasia, and acting like nothing was wrong. Unfortunately, the new sheriff just showed up and told all the vamps to "grab a human. Drinks are on me." Somehow, I suspect he's met his match in Pam and Tara.

-- Martha was the only were in the Shreveport pack to stand up to Russell. Go, Martha. I've become a Martha fan. Is it easier for the actors to work with a half-grown puppy than a little girl?

-- Steve Newlin has gone so far from his religious roots that he recited a limerick prayer over that poor guy chained to the dinner table.

-- When Alcide came by his father's trailer, Herveaux senior, the gambler, was watching dog racing. :) Love the little details on this show.

-- The good continuity award goes to Sweetie's minions torching that house in season one, and a return to the boots at Bud's retirement party.

-- Sweetie Des Arts was a book character whose name fans of the book probably would have recognized, so it was smart of them to keep the character under wraps for so long. I loved the little detail that Sweetie's husband left her for a were-raccoon.

-- Gran guiding Sookie to the box under the bed (through Lafayette) reminded me of another book plot involving a fairy object, but no. I'm being intentionally vague here so as not to post book spoilers, so remember, no book spoilers. :)

Bits and pieces:

-- Three of the five Tru-Blood factories are no more: Houston, Japan and Kuwait.

-- I didn't get anything at keepamericahuman.com.

-- Loved Jason's framed report card.

-- Vampires don't poop. Do they pee?

-- Salome danced for Bill. Wow, that was some outfit. Why is she fixated on Bill?


Steve: "Here's a tried and true one from my human days. 'There once was a cock and a hen, who gave lunch to a goose in a pen. Good lord, said the goose, bless this food for our use, and us to thy service. Amen."

Eric: (to Molly) "Oh, please. I'm a thousand years older than you. Put the baby fangs away before you piss me off."

Eric: "I don't speak techie. Translate."
Molly: "We're totally fucking fucked. Unless..."
Eric: "Unless what?"
Molly: "Probably a really stupid idea and it'll probably get you killed."
Eric: "Sounds perfect."

Lafayette: "The rest of y'all? I ain't Gmail for dead bitches. Send your own goddam messages."

Sam: "You're really fucking annoying!"
Luna: "And you're old fashioned and surprisingly sexist."

Pam: "There are two things I try to stay away from: humans who eat a lot of fish, and politics. So whatever comes next, we keep our heads down, our tits up, and the Tru Blood flowing. Understand?"

Pam: "Just because we drank a bitch together does not make us Oprah and Gayle. Get the fuck back to work."
Tara: "Suck me, vampire barbie."
I now love these two together. Who knew? Although they'll never be a replacement for the relationship between Eric and Pam. And Pam knows it, too.

Lafayette: "Dead folk, why y'all gotta be so cryptic? It ain't cute."

Idiot reporter: "Sheriff Bellefleur! Is it true that Barack Obama is actually behind the recent unsolved shootings and the kidnapping of a local vampire?"
Andy: (sarcastically) "No, the president of the United States is not actually in Reynard parish shooting and kidnapping people."

Sweetie: "She sure as shit ain't human. She's a mind reader with electric fingers and a fetish for fangers. If that ain't a supe, I don't know what the hell is."

Russell: "Did you think my blood was free? You silly, silly dog."

It looks like Russell, the Authority plot and the Stackhouse murder mystery will be the focus of the final episodes this season, and that's fine with me. How many limerick prayers out of four?

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. I loved that they resolved the two major subplots this week. I think the rest of the episodes are going to be jam packed with resolving the rest.

    I didn't study the preview clips, but someone pointed out that Jess and Jason were in a grave. Do you really think they'd vamp Jason? I'm expecting Season Six to be the final season, so it's possible.... If they do vamp Jason, maybe Tara will finally get her wish....

    I know women like Sweetie. They're not fun.

    I love that Martha is a stand up lady, looking out for her grandchild. I want Martha to team up with Alcide and the T-1000 and get Emma back!

    I want to that think "Lilith's" blood is actually Salome's blood. When Bill bit Salome, he started to hallucinate. We already know vamps "trip" when they zip from the blood in that vial. But how could Salome keep restocking it with no one knowing?

    Could Salome be Lilith? She's at least 2,000 years old. Could she be older?

  2. I'm really hoping that Nora isn't going to be killed off in the finale. It would suck (no pun intended) for Eric to lose both Godric and Nora. Plus I love Lucy Griffiths in True Blood more than I did in Robin Hood.

    If Patrick was not played by Scott Foley, I would probably have not cared one iota about the Ifrit storyline. Now I just want him to magically return to Grey's Anatomy.

    I don't care for Salome. I hope she meets a true death in the finale.

  3. Pam and Tara have been the highlight of this season for me by far. I hope they deal with this vampire sheriff asshole. I enjoyed Luna beating up Sweetie and Terry shooting Patrick. It looks like a lot of characters are now going to be involved in this vampire civil war.

  4. Bill's final line to Eric was very ambiguous: "I'm doing this for you" could mean either that Bill is playing his long game and preventing Eric from doing something stupid/futile (which his escape with Nora and Molly surely was) or he's gone over to the dark side and is evangelising Eric like Nora tried to. Can't wait to find out which.

    The scene with Steve, Russell and the Shreveport pack showed us just how little Russell has changed and how he's simply biding his time before he moves against Salome. The werewolves on their knees begging for blood was a really effective scene - great acting job and showed us just how true it is that Russell has them as pets.

    My pet theory is that Lillith's blood is fairy blood - it's the only thing we've seen that makes vampires get high and the fairies want a vampire civil war or a vampire/human war, wagering that the vampires will lose. Is it possible for a fairy to be made into a vampire?

    It'll be interesting to see how Pam reacts to the new Sheriff - Pam's never been the 'take a stand' sort but she may have to now. As much as I like vampire Tara, I can't see her being much use in this so I'm hoping it means Eric coming back to Fangtasia and getting rid of the new Sheriff.

    Glad to see the end of the Ifrit storyline - even if I didn't care about it, I liked how it ended with Arlene being pretty bad-ass. Also glad to see the resolution of the shifter/Obamas storyline, which I enjoyed a lot. I wish I knew the name of the black lady cop, she's been an absolute superstar throughout the series and I don't even know her name. She's so deadpan putting up with the other idiots on the force.

    Can't wait until next week, I'm loving this series.

  5. The cop is Kendra. I love her too :)

    I liked it a lot but am torn on the ending. I love Bill and Eric together and this looks like the end of that, and I've reached the point where I just really desperately want Eric to get the heck out of there. I also really like Molly and don't want her to get killed (I can live without Nora though). So it depends how all this plays out over the next few episodes...

    I wonder if Salome is some kind of vampire/fairy hybrid and is, in fact, Warlow? Though Warlow looked kind of masculine. So far none of the Authority vampires except Russell seem to know about Sookie, but if Salome does know about that, it might explain her obsession with Bill and, to a lesser extent, Eric...

    My hopes for the end of the season: Russell and Steve alive, together and ready to be the villains in season 6 (loved Russell slipping into an English accent talking to the wolves). Molly alive. Eric back at Fangtasia. Eric and Bill alive and, if possible, friends again (can't believe how much more I like Bill since s4). Scenes that put Eric and/or Bill and Sookie in the same room. Some kind of reconciliation between Sookie/Lafayette and Tara. Pam and Tara both alive. Jessica and Jason friends.

    Wonder what's going on with Hoyt - perhaps he'll need vampire blood to recover. I'd suggest turning him, but that would be a repeat of the Tara storyline, so no go.

  6. I don't really care for Nora..she's just been shoehorned in and we've not seen any flashbacks to explain why she matters to Eric. I'd have liked just one. Just saying she's his sister/lover won't do the trick..also ugh incest.
    Salome the vamp fairy? Love that theory.

  7. Gah I meant Lilith the vamp fairy.

  8. Hoyt near death, Jason calling him "Bubba" and the whole brain damaged vamp setup in the first few episodes??? Nah, too obvious so you know it won't happen.

  9. Re-watched a few times already this week....

    As detestable as "Sweetie" is, I like that they didn't have her trip or twist her ankle (which I expected to happen) as she ran from Luna.

    As for Ms. Bozeman....

    At first, I thought Martha would turn out to be a shady bitch and a villain. But my heart broke for her as that !@#$%^ Russell snatched Emma from her. I haven't read the books, so I don't know if Martha is a character in that series, but there is something off about her; something different from the other weres.

    It's not just Martha's hard-assed exterior, either. Or it may be, because she doesn't strike me as a typical werewolf. The other werewolves are so loose and seem to be more or less freewheeling, even my beloved Alcide. But Martha is so reserved and mannered in her speech. It seems like she carefully picks every word she says and moves & acts in a deliberate manner. I'm most likely way Way WAAYYY off, but I think there's more to her than we've been shown – possibly an Über-Werewolf.

    I'm sure I'm reading too much into it. I really like Martha after this week's episode and I want to learn more about her.

  10. I've liked Martha all along, and I'm glad they are giving her some depth.

  11. I liked it, it was funny and time went by very fast.


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