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The Vampire Diaries: I'd Leave My Happy Home For You

"Til death do us part."

As Laure Mack just wrote in her review of this week's episode of The Originals in reference to Claire Holt, knowing casting stuff is one of the pitfalls of having an internet. We know Nina Dobrev is leaving, and we know they have to write her out somehow.

That's probably why Elena just popping down the Cure like a stale Diet Pepsi while on a romantic walk with Damon wasn't surprising, even though it should have been. It was too abrupt, like it had to be squeezed into episode twenty in order to write her out in episode twenty-two.

Much of this episode was preparation for Elena's quick return to humanhood. We even got Elena and Damon standing in front of the town clock, ready to take the metaphorical and literal plunge, much like the wedding preparations and bachelor parties for Alaric and Jo. The most telling exchange was when Damon asked Elena what she liked most about being a vampire, and she said it was healing people with her blood. That's actually not a bad reason to stay a vampire. But Damon's reasons were very Damon, and much different. He likes his powers and he likes his own immortal good looks.

Some of the Cure appears to remain in the bottom of that creepy little plastic container that always reminds me of those liquid candies in wax tubes, only more disgusting. Will Damon Salvatore take that remaining sip and hang up his fangs for a pair of khakis? Come on. No suspense there at all. If anyone was born to be a vampire, it was Damon. He'd be miserable in khakis. Even Enzo knows that.

Bonnie asked Elena the key question: what if the human Elena doesn't love Damon any more? No suspense with that one, either. Elena got her Alaric-removed memories back, and she still loved Damon. (Plus she was still tough enough to stick a pin in Lily and escape through the previously set up hole in the wall at the Mystic Bar and Grill whatever.) What will happen to the now human Elena? The Vampire Diaries doesn't shy away from the big plot twists. Will they actually kill off their leading lady? Is that the ultimate plot task of Lily the Ripper?

I'm so not a fan of the Lily plot this season. Annie Wersching is a good actress and I get why they cast her: she has freckles and that big-eyed Salvatore look that I think the producers hoped would contrast well with her total evil ripperness. But she's so unsympathetic, out of control and irredeemable that I just can't stand her. Why does she care only about her stupid witchpire family and nothing about her sons? Vampires do love, don't they? I actually groaned out loud when Stefan put her in the Salvatore vampire dungeon. Could someone please just stake her before she kills a character I care about?

Okay, one more thing. It seemed completely out of character for a woman who cares nothing about her sons that she let Jo live because Jo said she was pregnant. Matt got drunk on hundred-year-old bourbon and told Alaric to take Jo and leave town. Matt is totally right. Not only is Mystic Falls a dangerous place to live even if you're supernatural, but the Gemini Coven will be after them now that they know Jo is having witchy twins. I honestly don't want to watch TVD without Alaric, but they haven't been doing much with him plotwise lately. He's just sort of there with Jo.

And Kai is coming. Of course Kai is feeding the witchpires his own blood (along with a very tasty looking skillet cornbread) and of course he has a plan to get out of 1903 Hell on his own. Bonnie had better look out. Especially since I'm betting the only characters that will definitely make it to season seven are the Salvatores and Caroline Forbes.

Bits and pieces:

-- It was to be expected on this show, but I still enjoyed the opening horror stuff that turned into the bachelor/bachelorette parties.

-- I just don't care about Enzo as a character, but I like him more than Lily, and his backstory has made him a bit more sympathetic. Plus his reaction to the Jell-O shot was very cute.

-- No Caroline in this episode. She's off brooding and upset and receiving concerned phone calls from Stefan.

-- Alaric: "You're writing checks your ass can't cash, am I right? Now you're getting cold feet." Damon: "Are you projecting?"

An episode with such a major plot twist should have been better than this one. Two and a half out of four skillet cornbreads,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.

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