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Roswell, New Mexico: I Ain't Goin' Out Like That

"Okay, look, can someone please tell me how screwed are we?"

Holy crap! I’m so glad we don’t have to ponder over that ending for a week.

No matter how many things we get right, it’s the thing we did wrong that we worry at, like a loose tooth. Narratively, this makes Jones the perfect foil for our heroes and their allies. He mines their inner turmoil to further his external needs.

Even if it doesn’t get Jones exactly what he’s looking for, playing on their insecurities undermines their relationships or, at the very least, distracts them. And he doesn’t have to dig very deep to see that a trio of orphans might have Mommy or Daddy issues or that scientists might struggle to balance ambition with ethical concerns.

Finding out Isobel wasn’t his biological sister last year rocked Max’s world. Believing he’s a lesser version of Jones and isn’t a part of Izzy and Michael’s alien triad compounded the issue. Additionally, in the mother of all “be careful what you wish fors,” defeating Jones may cost Max his alien abilities. All of which leaves him wondering who he'll be when those pieces of him are stripped away? Is what’s left someone Liz and his siblings can still love? In a matchup, I don’t think we’ve ever seen before, it’s Alex that convinces Max that they love the whole package, which will always be more than the sum of his parts.

Jones implying that Louise would be disappointed in Isobel, impacted her more than she cares to admit. She believes it’s the reason for Michael’s abduction and Dallas’ injuries. In reality, Jones (who literally conquered a planet) knows more about his abilities and how to exploit them than three and a half self-taught aliens. There’s no shame in that.

Izzy isn’t the only one with Mommy issues. Jones uses everything Michael doesn’t know about Nora against him. Sure, she turned against Jones at some point, but she had a child with him, too. It’s enough to make a kid wonder. That said, Jones’ commentary on Michael’s brokenness and his need to hide from the world would have been more effective last year. Hell, a few months ago. Now it’s proof of how little Jones understands his son. It took a sword to the gut to weaken Michael enough for Jones to read his mind. Even then, Michael didn’t give up. Although Maria’s psychic abilities sure came in pretty handy.

In her own way, Liz’s abilities rival anything the Pod Squad can do. She is a bona fide genius. The kind other geniuses (here’s looking at you, Michael) admire. Nobel prizes are within her grasp. And she knows it. Is it such a bad thing to want the glory that comes with ability? Are you a horrible person for contemplating a deal with the devil even if you knew you could never take it? It may have taken her a while, but Liz realizes she would trade it all if she could save Max without sacrificing his alien abilities.

It’s worse for Heath. At first, I wondered why he was wallowing in guilt. Then I remembered he stole the spores and all of Liz’s research. And while he kept Jones from killing Kyle, he wasn’t able to save random scientist number 2 at Bandelier University a few episodes back. That has to weigh on the guy who would have a priest as a best friend.

Dallas may be the exception that proves the rule. His vulnerabilities stem not from a mistake or temptation he needs to atone for, but from a lifetime of being an outcast. For most of his life, Heath was his only family. Now Dallas has a bevy of people claiming to know what’s best for him. His father’s memories may validate his new alien reality, but they don’t prepare him for a man who can use Dallas’ brain as his personal playground. Especially when Dallas is not sure if there’s anyone left he can trust.

Jones may not have played with Kyle’s insecurities, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. He may be a successful doctor, but his personal life is in shambles. The foundation he built his life on is a lie and the woman he’s deeply in like with is dating someone else. But considering he just got dropped off the side of a mountain, he may have bigger fish to fry.

Speaking of, I spent most of the episode assuming Dallas would be victim number one and wondering who were the other two coffin’s inhabitants from Maria’s vision. Despite everything he’s done, Jones’ vindictiveness shocked me. Now that he’s gotten what he wants, the question remains: what else is he willing to do?

4.5 out of 5 itty-bitty teeny-tiny, very-tough-cowboy existential crises

Parting Thoughts:

I lied. The other question is what Jones wants the Lockhart machine to contact. At least we don’t have long to wait.

This week’s title was taken from Cypress Hill’s 1993 release.

How does Maria make a living when the Wild Pony is almost always empty?

So what is Deep Sky’s purpose if not to communicate with aliens?

Michael is going to have one gnarly scar.

Is Sanders alive or dead?!?


Michael: “I think the big, bad, cosmic wolf is having trouble blowing my mind down.”

Jones: “So many bonds forged, so many strings to pull.”

Eduardo: “I gave everyone a mental health day rather than sending a memo that aliens exist.”

Heath: “Dallas can’t die. He’s the one with all the video game cheat codes... Sorry... Yay, childhood coping mechanisms.”

Heath: “I should have paid more attention in AP Alien Chem.”

Michael: “You’re nothing but a damn liar.”
Jones: Maybe. Maybe not. That’s the beauty of it. Broken children cling to fairy tales that tell them they can be mended."

Isobel: “All right, I’m not gonna lie. This is gonna be a little weird for you.”
Heath: “Yeah, right, ‘cause it’s been so normal up to this point.”

Dallas: “Everyone makes mistakes. It’s what you do afterward that define us.”

Heath: “Sorry, Evans, but it looks like you are going to get to live to see another day as a little green man.”

Jones: “What’ll it be, Elizabeth?”
Liz: “Next time Frozen Moe’s.”

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.


  1. As much as I like the reveal that Kyle has a major thing for Isobel, I kept wanting them to stop pseudo-flirting and fix Dallas. :)

    "Astro Hitler." Loved that one.

  2. I agree on both counts. I was down for Kyle and Isobel when she hit on him last season. But him hinting and pining is driving me nuts.

    I had Astro Hitler in my notes but I couldn't fit it into my review. Thanks for mentioning it. :).


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