What do you get when you combine nine men, a coffee shop, and a little romantic idealism? A very chill show. Join me for some thoughts and a not a few spoilers...
I always found dating shows interesting. The idea that a couple could or should know each other so well that they could answer enough questions about their partner to win prizes fascinated me as a kid, and it's still today a principle in how I form relationships – I try to learn about the people I love, and I cherish the memories I've saved along the way. (Is that an example of how TV can positively inspire people? Maybe!)
Reality dating shows, on the other hand, just haven't done it for me. Too many of them seem predicated on doing the exact opposite – deceiving, and creating insincere reactions (I exempt The Circle, which had the benefit of interesting social media schtick for a while.) The eponymous Joe Millionaire is one example – I got interested by the name, but I really didn't like the premise of pretending to be something other than what one was. Watching that dynamic play out is often sad, it’s sometimes depressing, and unless you’re a completely banal teenager you can see what’s on the screen has nothing to do with actual relationships.
Enter The Boyfriend, the first dating program in Japan which features gay male relationships. Set in the gorgeous beach-side town of Tateyama, I was honestly not sure what to expect and what happened from Day One was a show that switched up the traditional formula and played with my American-developed expectations. It’s not a competition. Nobody gets eliminated, and you’re not chasing a relationship as a prize. It’s a low-key situation where nine guys are given a house to live in, the Green Room; they continue their regular lives – some keep working regular jobs – while cooperating to run a coffee truck. There are activities designed to inspire connection and communication. On the first day, the inhabitants are challenged to write a letter to the house resident who they are most interested in, after a single episode. Occasionally, a group of commenters (who remind me of the Euro-parade on Beastmaster) pop up to giggle insipidly about...
... well, about what? That’s the best part of the show. The participants seem less intent on sex and bouncing bodies, or impressing each other with fake millions, than on forging real relationships and learning to open up to each other. They are all from different life paths – chefs, models, artists, students – but they demonstrate authentic respect for each other and have to authentically work together, even when it comes to the household food budget. There are moments which seem to be precursors to more traditional game-playing, and each time the characters show a different side of themselves. And that's the point. The commenters have their moments of humor, but mostly they ooh and ahhh when the participants seem to truly connect.
We have Dai, the University student with a patience and aura far beyond his years. Shun, the handsome artist who seems detached from everyone. Usak, who is kind to everyone and extremely positive. Gensei, willing to take risks. Kazuto, Ryota, Alan, Ikuo, Taeheon. All the members of the house truly combined to become a kind of family. Every day, two people are variously chosen or choose each other to go run the truck, giving a private context for friendship or more to blossom.
The season has three "stages;" in the first stage, the characters arrive and are beginning to get to know each other, although the first episode, "That Summer, I Fell in Love With Him," sets up some dynamics among the boys which last for the entire season. "Getting to Know the Real You" helps us explore the structure of the show and the dynamic of the coffee truck as part of the plot. By the third episode, "A Kiss Would Make Things Clear," we have a full house, some major romances are beginning to brew, and so are other relationships.
The second stage covers the connecting process as the members of the house begin to form relationships – a process which I'd argue takes from episode four to episode eight. "One Step Closer" is one of my favorites, as Usak, who in terms of looks seems to most closely imitate the American ideal, with a handsome face and lot of muscle, really opens up in terms of his anxiety (and also his bizarre chicken issues. Seriously. If that much muscle requires eating that much blended chicken juice–) I loved seeing Uzak's budding relationship with Kazuto. "I Don't Need an Answer" has one of the more heartbreaking moments of the show, but also shows Usak in a completely different light. (I am still not sure if I like Kazuto now. Why, Kazuto? Why?) After Usak leaves, we begin to see Gensei change in "Welcome to a Stormy Picnic." Dai and Shun, everyone's favorite relationship, seems to get more solid in "There's Nothing I Want Now." But my favorite episode is probably "Did You Wait Long? I've Been Waiting For You" where the boys truly begin to open up to each other and share their coming out stories, all in the midst of heartbreak, and during which we finally see a certain beloved pair kiss. At the end of all this, we're left with one strong definite couple, Dai and Shun; one strong possible couple, Alan and Kazuto; Gensei is sort of interested in a few people, but he and Ikuo and Ryota are the remaining singletons.
The last two episodes are, appropriately, two of the most dramatic, and cover a final stage where our relationships and triangles or quadrangles resolve. We're seeing some of the other individuals try to form connections in "Accepting You No Matter What" – maybe my second favorite of the season. It takes us another step further in the Gensei-Ryota-Kazuto-Alan quadrangle and sees Gensei self-select out of the house. It shows us Dai and Shun are on the outs yet again, Dai struggling to find out why, and Ikuo getting involved, but for Dai, Shun or himself, nobody knows, maybe not even Ikuo. Dai is both in love and terrified of being in love, and his pursuit of Shun. "I don't know who'll wear out first, though." The final episode, appropriately titled "I Don't Want This to End," saw Kazuto choose Alan to share his feeling that Alan is someone special, and Shun choose Dai, and ask for him to work with Shun. Both choices feel genuine. All of them are present for the final moment by the food truck, and the final dinner is a delight – although the powerful moments continue to the final conversation between Kazuto and Ryota. At one point none of these men showed more than bare emotion on their faces. At the end of this season, they are naked walls of emotion, courage, rejection, and strength. And I really do think they may all be the better for the experience.
This season made me love reality dating shows, and see a different kind of potential. I'm glad I took the time to watch The Boyfriend.
Postscript
For a review of The Boyfriend, I had to ask my boyfriend to pitch in. This was his take:
My Boyfriend’s Take: In most media with gay characters we have such a tumultuous energy, like The Weekend where two people had an affair and never saw each other again, or the TV show Looking… In here there are people who work together and live together, and there’s something very peaceful. And also The Boyfriend helped me reframe many moments in my life where I felt awkward but now I see it as, you know, a very normal part of friends hanging out and communicating.
Ten out of ten coffee trucks.
This sounds really cute. I'm not sure if it's something that I would ever watch, but it's also just really nice to know that it exists out in the world. Also the name of the coffee truck is wonderful. I love it.
ReplyDeleteJoseph, this sounds like it's a dating reality show a la the Great British Baking Show, as in it emphasizes teamwork and kindness instead of nasty-ish competition.
ReplyDelete