Bull Shark

“Nolan, why is there a shark in the back of your truck?”

So, no water parks this week. Sorry. Instead, we go to the great state of Texas and a small town that has a pretty big problem: there’s a bull shark in the lake.

Into the Deep

“You can’t lose. You’re a goddamn predator. And they’re going to know it today.”

This week, we have a movie about a group of divers who are repeatedly forced into shark infested waters by criminals in order to retrieve sunken precious cargo. What? I already reviewed that?

Thrash

“Mommy’s here. Mommy just got to fight some sharks.”

Did you like Crawl? Do you want to watch Crawl but with bull sharks, directed by the same man who brought us Dead Snow and Violent Night, instead? Well, then Netflix has a movie for you.

Jaws 3-D

“This one’s a fish. A simple, beautiful fish.”

A simple, beautiful, 3-D fish. With a bunch of truly beautiful, real mammals courtesy of SeaWorld. Because the most logical place to set a Jaws sequel is to move from a New England tourist town to a Florida theme park. Obviously.

Dangerous Animals

“You know, most people think that God is up here. Nah. God’s down there. Where it all started. Where it all ends.”

Serial killers fascinate me. They always have. So a serial killer that uses sharks as his murder weapon? You already know that I love stuff like that. What better movie to watch for my birthday?

The Last Breath

“Don’t drink and dive, buddy. It’s dangerous.”

Despite the cold open taking place during WWII, we are back to the modern day this week. That was a mistake.

Beast of War

“If we stay quiet, still, don’t bleed too much, she might leave us alone.”

I did say that I wanted more period piece shark movies, didn’t I? Apparently, they're all Australian.

Fear Below

“Wamba.”

I think the best part of my Summer Shark Fest Extravaganza is that it lets me find and watch movies that I would have completely missed otherwise. Movies that I had never heard of before, and yet still deserve some attention.

Deep Water

Last year, I reviewed Bait, which was a surprisingly solid shark movie that took place in a grocery store. In my Random Thoughts, I noted that there was apparently a sequel that looked completely unrelated to it.

Guess what finally got released in theaters earlier this month.

Welcome to the 3rd Annual An Honest Fangirl’s Summer Shark Fest Extravaganza (I guess the name isn’t really pending at this point).

Jaws @ 50: The Definitive Inside Story

As you may have heard, Jaws turned 50 years old this summer. A milestone like that demands all kinds of documentaries and retrospectives, and that is how we're going to wrap up Summer Shark Fest 2025.

6-Headed Shark Attack

"That thing is a stupid shark. We're the apex predators here."

One final movie to round off not only August, but the whole multi-headed saga. One final SyFy Original involving not two, not three, not four or five, but six different heads. It actually looks like a starfish this time.

There will be spoilers, if this is the kind of movie that can actually be spoiled.

5-Headed Shark Attack

"It wasn't a shark. But it was–"
"It was shaped like a starfish."
"It had four heads."

Well, after a 2-Headed Shark Attack and a 3-Headed Shark Attack, it's only natural that they'd make a... 5-Headed Shark Attack? No, that isn't a typo.

3-Headed Shark Attack

"I don't think that's a whale."

Whelp, we got another one for the Worst Movie Ever tag.

2-Headed Shark Attack

"Two heads is twice as many teeth."

When it comes to bad SyFy Originals, 2-Headed Shark Attack is royalty. The early 2010s were truly a special time.

Santa Jaws

"Ho ho ho, you son of a fish."

Merry Christmas in July! Did you know that there is a sharky Christmas movie involving a Santa hat wearing great white shark? Because there is. And it's actually kind of great.

Shark Side of the Moon

"Why are there sharks on the moon?"

You know, sometimes you don't even need to watch a trailer or see a movie poster to know the quality of the movie that you're about to subject yourself to. Sometimes the movie's title is more than enough.

Bait

A very common problem with shark attack movies is that they lack a good reason for the shark to stick around for the full runtime. Bait offers a fun solution: use a tsunami to trap it inside of a grocery store.

Open Water

"Where's the boat?"

A few weeks ago, Mothra talked about some summer double features and it just seemed criminal to not have a review of Open Water afterwards. So what better way to celebrate my birthday than to remind myself why swimming in the ocean is so terrifying?

Jaws 2

"Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water..."

Okay, so this isn't an actual line of dialogue, but how could I not include arguably the most famous tagline in movie history?

Today is the 50th anniversary of Jaws. But seeing as I already reviewed it last year, today we'll celebrate by reviewing its first (and best) sequel.

Shark Warning!

"We can't have a fishing tournament without any fish, and there are plenty of them just outside the dam."

I really wasn’t expecting a lot here. Any movie that has punctuation in its title is worthy of skepticism, especially if the punctuation is an exclamation mark.

But this was a surprisingly fun time.