Vampire Diaries: The Last Day


“You’re gonna screw it up, aren’t you?”

VD doesn’t let me hold a grudge. Just when I thought they might have gone a retcon too far, this episode sucked me back in. (It’s a whole big sucky thing.) I still have some issues with the Great Sun and Moon Lie, but that doesn’t really matter, because everything terrible is happening right now. OMG, indeed.

Eureka: Phoenix Rising


... in which an eclipse coincides with a series of deaths by spontaneous combustion.

Glee: Born This Way


Welcome to super-size Glee. Featuring more songs, more plot lines, more issues and waaay more cheesiness. Did I love it? Hell to the YEAH.

…Just Be a Queen

Kurt is BACK! Hands up who else felt like cheering as he appeared at the top of the school steps at noon? Kurt’s absence from McKinley wasn’t just felt by his friends in New Directions, he was also slightly eclipsed musically during his stint with Blaine and the Warblers, and this episode reminded us just how amazing Kurt’s solos can be. That said, he had an adorable send off by his boyfriend who seemed to be pretty gutted about Kurt leaving Dalton Academy. I am looking forward to Blaine taking him somewhere only he knows, we haven’t seen enough of them as a couple since they got together.

Strangely enough Kurt’s restoration was masterminded by Santana and facilitated by Karofsky in a plot twist worthy of a much twistier show. Worthy because Santana managed to become even more awesome while still retaining her self-serving nature (and obtaining her very own Dave Beard), and it gave said beard an important scene that was basically ‘The Scene That Teachers and Parents and Bullies and Victims Watch When They Need to Know How Heal a Rift Caused By Homophobic Bullying’. Glee excels at such Gayducation scenes so I am always pleased when they’re included. The plotline also brought Santana and Karofsky one step closer to busting outta that closet, which I am looking forward to. Karofsky is taking longer than Ricky Martin to say “Am a Fortunate Homosexual Man” and I was a little displeased it didn’t happen in this episode.

Santana’s straight talk/Mean Girl bitchiness was also the springboard for all of New Directions to examine what they would change about themselves. I was mildly appalled that Tina’s issue was her Asian eyes – we get it writers, Tina is Asian, Mike is Asian! Give them new character traits! Anyhow, the episode brought up a really interesting topic that divides public opinion – how much can you change your body and image before you become a fake? If you don’t like something about yourself, should you follow Santana’s advice and change it, or should you ‘embrace your eccentricities’ as Emma put it? I have a fairly strong opinion on this, but I’d like to hear your opinions, gentle readers. Answers on a postcard. Or, you know, in the comments below.

Emma and the Obsessed Cutie Debugger

Even though it wasn’t thrilling, it was important to have Emma’s storyline included as it sort of gave Glee’s answer to the question posed above. When the problem you have Isn’t something you’re born with, and it is fixable, you should fix it. Emma has been pretending for too long that her OCD is something she can’t change, like her ginger-ness, but over the course of the episode she learned to accept that she has a problem and took the first steps towards recovery. Did you know that it is considered lucky to sleep with a ginger person in Brazil? Maybe Emma should move there. I learnt a lot of interesting facts about OCD, but there were far more enjoyable parts to this episode.

The Rhino-Plastics

After Hurricane Finn’s flailing limbs finally find a victim in Rachel’s nose, she considers Quinn’s own perfect proboscis as a possible upgrade. Quinn is flattered but also conflicted as it reminds her that she is less than natural herself. This doesn’t stop her in her quest for validation through public adulation in the form of a prom queen tiara. Surprisingly, Lauren Zizes used to be a terrifying Tiara Toddler and wishes to reclaim the throne at high school. She butts heads with Quinn who tries to convince Lauren she is a fugly slut who will be laughed at or even Carrie-d off the stage covered in pig’s blood. In return Lauren uncovers Quinn’s rhinoplastic, pimple-ridden past. Three plain and creepy girls who are presumably supposed to represent the McKinley masses support both Lauren and ‘Lucy’ with her new ‘previously podgy’ cred, making both of them contenders for the McKinley prom crown. Meanwhile after being told by everyone except her nose doctor (vested interest) and Santana (Miss inflatable life chest) that she is beautiful the way she is, Rachel agrees to keep her schnoz.

It makes total sense to incorporate the themes of the nature of beauty, prom queen power struggles and self and public acceptance, which all feed into one another. I think that’s partly why this episode worked so well. Lauren becomes an ever stronger role model for bigger girls through her huge confidence with her body, and Quinn simultaneously gets an added layer of depth through her ‘ugly’ secret, while teaching us a valuable lesson about the dangers of measuring your own self-worth through the number of fans you have. Rachel and Barbra Streisand both refused to alter their noses in order to become famous. For Lea Michele it also worked – not only does she get to be THE star of Glee but her nose does too.

Loved

- In the opening scene Brittany was wearing another awesome hat. I want it! Speaking of… Santana’s hat in the Coffee Bean was amazeballs too.

- The scenes in The Coffee Bean not only serve to give the lovely Blaine screen time that he otherwise wouldn’t get, being from a different school but they also make me feel like the New Directions are growing closer to one another all the time.

- Rachel’s Quinn schnoz mock-up was freaky – looked like a dark haired sister to Quinn.

- Zizes’ gor•geous T-shirt was so very Zizes

- Kurt’s return to McKinley. Couldn’t have been more perfect.

- Quinn and Finn’s poster photos are taken from Glee’s promotional material. This is brilliant – I’m picturing Quinn meticulously organising the photo-shoot for her campaign.

- Finn’s “Rachel please don’t do this, you’re beautiful” line. Could be there’s hope for those two yet.

- Santana really had it covered with the insults this week! Maybe that’s why I didn’t notice Sue’s absence.

- I just knew that Will was gonna choose his sexy butt chin for his thing to accept about himself.

- I liked the slushie run-down during Karofsky’s speech. Also good that he mentioned gay teen suicides as a reason for wanting to apologise to Kurt.

- Great that PFLAG were mentioned by Kurt. He is becoming quite the poster boy for teen gaiety.

- The I’m With Stupid T-Shirts that Puck and Brittany wore, one with an arrow pointing up and the pointing down. They both have tiny brains they just keep them in different places! Which was your favourite T-shirt?

Didn’t Love

- When this episode ended I thought “Wow, that was the quickest 90 minutes of my life”. Then I found out that the poor Americans who watched it live had to endure over half an hour of ‘commercials’. Boo!

- I only realised Sue wasn’t in this episode after it had finished. This is a Didn’t Love because I didn’t miss her, What’s up with that – she used to be my favourite character.

- Santana didn’t get up and show the world she’s proud to be Lebanese. I am glad they are saving that for another episode - this is mainly bad because she rocked so hard when they did Bad Romance.

- Puck is too nice these days. He’s losing his Puckiness.

- Did anyone else think that Lucy Caboosey looked a lot like Matt Lucas?

- Nice to see Burt and Dr Arzt but they didn’t get to do much.

Glee Against the Music

West Side Story - I Feel Pretty / TLC – Unpretty (Quinn and Rachel):
Great mash-up, and it perfectly fit Quinn’s voice. Grade B

Sammy Davis Jr. - I've Gotta Be Me (Finn and Mike):
Cute! Good choice for Finn’s voice, and I liked him trying to copy Mike’s insane skills. Glad that Mike getting featured more wasn’t a one off. Grade B

Keane - Somewhere Only We Know (Blaine and The Warblers):
I love Keane, at least their older, piano driven stuff so I was Rather excited to see how an acapella version would sound. I was a bit disappointed that they broke the Warblers’ rules (isn’t this the first time they’ve used instruments in a group performance) but maybe one could explain it away by saying it was Blaine performing, with the Warblers as backup (yes, I know that’s how ALL their performances are). Still, an amazing performance which made more sense once we saw how upset Blaine was that Kurt was leaving Dalton. I loved the hug with Finn, and Kurt’s whispered “I’ll never say goodbye to you” to Blaine. Grade A-

Sunset Boulevard - As If We Never Said Goodbye (Kurt):
This was beautiful. I liked how they took the staging so literally with cardboard trees and painted seas. They gave Chris Colfer lots of close ups and he acted the hell out of the song as well as recording awesome vocals. On the strength of this song I’m renting Sunset Boulevard tomorrow night. Grade A-

Duck Sauce - Barbra Streisand:
Good fun, and perfect song choice for the plot, but not as good as Safety Dance in Artie’s dream sequence in Wheels. It’s just not as fun when it’s the original song instead of a Glee version. To be fair, they couldn’t have done much with Duck Sauce. I shan’t mention the implausibility of New Directions being able to stage a flash mob when they can’t get more than 3 people to attend their Night of Neglect. Oh I guess I did mention it. One thing though, everyone in a circle pointing at Rachel and mouthing “Barbra Streisand” was epic. Grade C+

Lady Gaga - Born This Way (New Directions):
Well it was exactly what we were expecting right? Fairly good anthem done in fairly similar style by New Directions. I enjoyed Kurt, Mercedes and Tina’s vocals but missed Santana’s. Didn’t Kurt look more handsome than usual? I was initially sceptical of the T-shirt idea but I have grown to love them. In fact I want Puck’s! The choreography was also much better than usual. The best part of the song though, was its message, which is what the whole episode was about. In that respect, this was quintessential Glee. Grade A-

Quotes for Gleeks:

Santana: “Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her.”

Emma: “People say that I smell like copper. And according to recent legend, I have no soul.”

Lauren: “There’s our future queen. A size two teenage dream.”

Lauren: “You best bring it, Fabray because I’m hot as hell, I keep it real and the people in this school want a prom queen who’s like them.”
Quinn: “No, they want a prom queen who’s somebody they’d like to be!”

Santana: “I’ve gotta gay. Go. I’ve gotta go.”

Karofsky: “I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing.”
Santana: “Like that’s any less gay!”

Santana: “Only straight I am is straight up bitch.”

Kurt: “I am both repulsed and impressed by her Lady Macbethian ways. A Latina Eve Harington. Ok if you’re going to be gay you simply must know who that is.”

Puck: “I just want to talk to you. One hot Jew to another.”

Brittany: “Clearly you don’t love you as much as I do.”

Santana gets Quote of the Week for this little gem:

“I’m a closet lesbian and a judgemental bitch which means one thing, I have Awesome gaydar.”

It wasn’t perfect, but this episode was really funny, had some great tunes and much better pacing than most episodes – it really benefitted from the increased runtime. More importantly it took on one of the biggest issues that high school kids have to deal with.

Four out of four ‘Likes Boys’ T-shirts.

Game of Thrones: The Kingsroad


“Stick ‘em with the pointy end.”

Our Theme of the Week is the injuries that aren’t inflicted by swords, but by the blunter, crueler weapons: the refusal to acknowledge someone’s pain, disloyalty, and an averted gaze. Game of Thrones may be a pseudo-medieval knights-and-nations epic, but it’s not all swords and fire. Although there is an awful lot of blood.

NewsFlash: Vampire Diaries and Supernatural Renewed


We can all start partying now! The CW has announced early pickups for five series, including The Vampire Diaries, Supernatural, Gossip Girl, 90210 and (do we care?) America's Top Model Something or Other.

Yes, we knew it would probably happen, but I for one am relieved. You never can tell what a network will do.

The Killing: Super 8

“Unless this is a snuff film we’re wasting our time.”

For me ‘Super 8’ was the weakest episode of the series so far. I found it a chore to get through at times. While the Larsen storyline was as strong as ever, the others, those more dependent on narrative momentum, felt as if they were treading water. Offering us only dribbles of new information with little of it riveting. One of the drawbacks of long form mysteries like The Killing is that they are, well, long. In order to sustain suspense for the entire season you sometimes have to drag things out as well as hold back on major revelations.

The Investigation

Bennet is starting to look more and more suspicious. Those carpe diem letters he sent Rosie just got a lot creepier now that we know he used to send them to another student, who is now his pregnant wife. And there’s also the issue of this incident with a girl from another school. I wonder if she was mentally unstable or just dismissed as such because no one would believe that nice, inspirational Mr Ahmed could ever take advantage of a student.

The forensic report seems to suggest that whoever killed Rosie knew what they were doing. Meaning they’ve either killed before or seen one episode of CSI too many. Either way, I bet it makes Linden even more determined now to find Rosie’s killer. Rick’s right to be worried about her falling back into her old habits. He knows as well as we do that she isn’t going to be on that plane on Sunday. There’s no chance now that she going to leave Seattle before she's caught Rosie’s killer. She’s even started putting Rosie’s pictures on the wall just as he feared she would. Well, technically they were screencaps. And it was more like a board than an actual wall.

I’m enjoying Linden and Holder’s working relationship more and more. They’re not as antagonist with each other as they were at the start. There are still a few issues between them. Linden doesn’t entirely trust Holder, mainly because he’s lousy at hiding the fact he’s keeping secrets from her. And Holder’s still a tiny bit resentful that she hasn’t left yet. Holder is the character that is the least like his Danish counterpart, which is probably why I like him so much. He’s the perfect jittery ying to Linden’s stoic yang.

The Larsen Family


Despite Richmond’s reassuring words it isn’t getting any better for the Larsen family. After holding together for so long Stanley finally lost it. Seeing his daughter in the dress they are going to bury her in was just too much for him. And now he’s given in and asked Belko to find out who the police are investigating. This is not going to end well. Not for Stanley or Bennet.

Stanley restroom breakdown was not only distressing to watch but also highlighted how no one in this family is sharing their pain. They’re walling themselves off, growing further and further apart from each other. Not just Mitch and Stan but the boys as well. It’s a good thing that Denny and Tommy haven’t been pushed to the sidelines and that the show is taking the time to show how they, as well as their parents, are coping in the aftermath of Rosie’s death.

This family has suffered a horrible tragedy so it’s understandable that everyday things, like food shopping, have started to slip by. But they’ve both become maybe too reliant on Terry to take care of the boys. So it’s no surprise that Denny has become convinced that his parents no longer care about him and has started to fend for himself. Young children tend to see the world in very broad strokes and life’s complex subtleties can sometimes (but not always) go over their heads.

The Richmond Campaign

So the mole turned out to be some random guy in the office we’d seen only seen very briefly before. That was a bit un-dramatic, wasn’t it? At first I thought I thought he was just some random background extra. Took me a while before I realized he was the guy Richmond had checking everyone’s emails. Good thing I’m not invested in this storyline that much, otherwise I would’ve been mildly disappointed.

I’m glad Richmond held onto his morals and didn’t go along with Gwen’s plan to exploit the Larsens for a political boost. I know their campaign is struggling but that was a pretty despicable move. I’m surprised she managed to get him to agree to it in the first place. Of all the people on the show Richmond can understand what they are going through. He’s also lost someone dear to him so no matter how much Gwen nags him he won’t exploit someone else’s grief for his own benefit.

Notes and Quotes

--Jumperwatch: Love the turtleneck, Sarah.

--No recognizable Vancouver genre actors this week. At least, none that I recognized.

--Either Holder never changes his clothes or he’s like Seth Brundle and only has ten sets of the same clothes.

--8mm film, very retro. Guess Rosie mustn’t have been a fan of digital. Will one of those abstract images unlock the mystery of Rosie’s murder?

--Surely everyone knows by now that when a police officer asks “Can I use your bathroom?” it’s code for “I’m going to illegally search your home”.

Richmond: “Any bright ideas?”
Gwen: “Reach out to them personally. Ask them to do the spots with you.”
Richmond: “Any ideas won’t leave feeling like I need a shower afterwards?”

Stanley: “Rosie’s gone. Finding out who killed her won’t change that.”

Mayor Adams: “In no time at all Darren’s come here and he’s built himself a real rainbow coalition. Blacks, fruits, whores and drug addicts.”
--Adams is clearly a progressive politician.

Linden: “There’s plenty of women with poor judgment out there, I’m sure you’ll get lucky.”

Principle: “I would’ve fired him otherwise.”
Holder: “Yeah, like you fired that peeking perv janitor?”

Ruth: “Spreading your legs just doesn’t buy a girl anything these days.”

Stargate Universe: Epilogue


... in which the alternate history for Destiny’s crew is revealed.

Smallville: Booster


Lois: "Real heroes don't stop to strike a pose."

One of the major things that has made Smallville unique is its emphasis on Clark, not Superman. Ten years in, and we really haven't even met the Man of Steel yet. We're invested in Clark as a person. And only Clark.

Doctor Who: The Impossible Astronaut (1)

Doctor: “I wear a Stetson now. Stetsons are cool.”

It must be hard for any show to live up to the pre-season hype. They're always promising bigger, better, weirder, more satisfying story lines. Of course, it's usually just talk. Maybe they're too close to the project to be truly objective. Or, more likely, they feel obligated to big-up the show to the size they hope it will be. So what are we to make of Steven Moffat's “it's the Doctor's darkest hour” and “it's going to be a real game changer” pre-season spiel? Should we write it off as mere rhetoric designed to get our fantasy/scifi juices flowing? Or will there actually be some substance to the Moff's grandiose promises?

Fringe: 6:02 AM EST


“I think this is what I’m supposed to do.”

Television shows are made up of many things. Dialogue and actors. Cinematography and score. Overarching plots, character development, and important moments. Great images and great lines. There is also an element of expectation—as viewers, we expect some moments to be presaged by rising music, for instance. Years of suckling on the boob tube makes even the most casual viewer a master of prediction and anticipation.

Supernatural: Frontierland


Bobby: "Are you going to a hoe-down?"
Castiel: "Is it customary to wear a blanket?"

Watching Dean live out a western movie fantasy was downright adorable. Even the part where his clothes were too clean and no one understood what he said. Or maybe especially the part where his clothes were too clean and no one understood what he said.

Vampire Diaries: Klaus


“I believe the term you’re searching for is OMG.”

Quite a bit happened in this episode. The Vamp In Black finally stopped possessing John Locke’s Alaric’s body. Jacob Elijah, momentarily resurrected, revealed his relationship with the Vamp in Black, and Desmond Elena continued to struggle with her role as the doppelganger who has the unique power to save the Island maintain the curse. And we’re left wondering if Boone Jenna will be the sacrifice the Island demands.

Glee: A Night of Neglect


To raise money for Nationals and the Brainiacs club, New Directions put on a benefit concert. Unfortunately Sue has a new scheme to stop it, replete with henchmen. Will and Holly struggle with their relationship, and Lauren encourages Mercedes to demand respect.

Sunshine, Shrew, Sandy and Sergeant Smarmy

Sunshine is back! I would say hurrah but her role in this episode was a little bit random, it felt more like she was there to remind everyone what an amazing singer she is now that we are into the final stretch of episodes. It did work that Sarg Smarm was on hand to pull her out of the benefit, but why did New Directions ever think he would allow it in the first place? Sandy’s return made more sense given that he is rather a bitch and also a sucker for powerful women. Sadly for Boss Sue she didn’t factor that into her plans before he was taken out by a Mercedes/Aretha one two punch. Wow for an episode with so many guest stars I really didn’t get excited about them at all. Perhaps it is because the only one I really love to hate is Terri and her chance to wreak havoc has only just arrived.

Will and Holly

Whilst they did make an adorable pair eating pizza in front of a roaring fire, we all knew the Holliday holiday would come to an end, mainly since Gwyneth Paltrow was never going to become a regular on Glee. I did imagine that they would date for longer than one episode. The plot always moves fast on Glee but it seemed rather as if a tiny argument regarding Sargent Stupid and a single not-very-romantic Will/Emma moment was all it took to make Holly run for the hills. She and Will were a couple for all of two scenes. Maybe she will be back with her own unique brand of substitute teaching sometime soon – that I want to see her impression of Catherine the Great’s stallion Fred!

… and Emma


It was sad to see Emma’s OCD return with such a vengeance – I mean putting plastic gloves on to eat sandwiches can be kind of adorable (work with me people) but scrubbing a countertop with a toothbrush? Is that just Glee or do people really feel driven to do that? How debilitating. Thankfully Emma being all damaged again means that Will is into her because he has something to fix. I’m not sure how we as the audience are supposed to feel about Emma and Will. When Glee began we were all (mostly) rooting for them but now it just feels like Will wants to ‘make her better’ and Emma seems to be unable to control her feelings for Will despite it costing her the finest dentist alive.

Karofsky, Kurt, Blaine and Santana (or Rainbow Corner)

This was a great little scene that provided a bit of setup for next week’s episode Born This Way. I was worried we wouldn’t get to see the Dalton boys this episode, and I forgot how much I’d missed them over the hiatus. Poor Kurt can’t have five minutes showing his boyfriend round his old school without being accosted by Dave in Denial. Could it be that what he wanted deep down was to talk about coming out with the only other gay guys that he knows? Santana squaring off with him was brilliant, she gets MVP for her efforts. I liked that this was the first time we have seen her dealing with homophobia, but will she handle it quite as well when it is directed at her?

Loved

- It’s just like Sue to find a way to prevent the Cheerios funds from ever reaching the hair gel covered hands of Will Schuester!

- Other Asian finally has a role in the series beyond showing off his abs and shaking it like a polaroid picture

- The irony of Brittany being on the Brainiacs team and being their secret weapon

- Sue’s evil league of evil scene began with the clock striking midnight

- Terri’s supervillain nickname – Honey Badger. The others were firmly in the Didn’t Love. I mean Pink Dagger sounds like a terrifying euphemism and Sergeant Handsome – not so handsome.

- How strange that My Heart Will Go On was mentioned in both Glee and Supernatural this week.

- Nice to see Becky and Azimio again. I prefer Jacob when he is being grotesquely pervy over Rachel.

- Mike’s ‘screeching to a halt’ noise when Rachel said she’d be singing Celine Dion.

Didn’t Love

- Even Santana is getting slushied? This has gone too far, this must end!

- Terri doesn’t hate Will? Why Not? Last time they met he banged her then dropped her, and she got all jealous about Holly and now he’s actually dating Holly and it would make perfect sense for her to hate Will. But since when has she hated the Glee club?

- The neglected artists thing? Bit of a bottom of the bag musical theme. Then again Glee’s demographic probably isn’t that up to speed on Eric and Aretha, and casual Jack and Adele fans might not have heard Bubbly Toes and Turning Tables.

- Dustin’s attempted seduction. I found him utterly reprehensible. I hope Will’s tiny fist encounters his face at Nationals.

Glee Against the Music:

All By Myself - Eric Carmen (Sunshine):
I love this song, and Sunshine certainly did it justice. She’s got an incredible voice – where does that singing power come from? She’s so tiny she must be about 90% lung! I also liked Puck’s puppy faced grin, has someone got a new crush? Well I’m impressed with Sunshine, but there was something missing from this, I was left wanting more. Grade B+

I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li (Tina):
Ok this is getting ridiculous, I didn’t even have time to get into the song before it was ruined by hecklers. This is the third time this season that a Tina solo has been shortened, and it sounded pretty good for all of 20 seconds. Boo, writers!

Bubble Toes - Jack Johnson (Mike):
When this began I was wondering how it would work, but it turned into a great performance. Mike is a master of comedy and just flows around the stage. I especially liked his ‘move like a jellyfish’. That was all kinds of awesome. B+

Turning Tables – Adele (Holly Holliday):
I was a little disappointed by Holly’s swan song. It wasn’t a fun performance like those she does so well, the vocals were solid but I didn’t really feel the emotion behind them. Grade C+

Ain't No Way - Aretha Franklin (Mercedes):
I don’t think this was the best Aretha number to choose, but Mercedes really did bring the house down. Her performance and Rachel’s words after it were the perfect end to her side plot, which was great fun in and of itself. Now if only she had been carried on whilst holding a Pomeranian, it would have been perfect. B+

Quotes for Gleeks:


Brittany: “Ugh, I love saltwater”

Will: “I get the three of you being on the team…”
Puck: “Is it because two of them are Asian and Artie wears glasses?”
Will: “No….but Brittany?!”

Brittany: “I’ll take cat diseases!”

Sue: “Terri Schuester, Shrew.”
Terri: “I’m also an Assistant Manager.”

Rachel: “Can you define what you mean by neglected artist?”
Will: “Umm, someone whose brilliance isn’t always appreciated.”
Rachel: “Oh, so you mean like me.”

Sue: “She’s looser than a thrift store turtleneck and probably just as diseased.”
Dustin: “Just my type.”

Mercedes: “Before every performance I like to wash my hands and after doing so I like to dry them on a fresh puppy.”

Sandy: “Ready for my close up General Zod”
Sue: “Sandy how do you manage to enter a building without setting off ALL the fire alarms?”

Santana: “Two choices: You stay here and I crack one of your nuts, right or left, that’s your choice, or you walk away and live to be a douchebag another day. Oh, and also? I have razor blades hidden in my hair. Tons, just all up in there.”

Sandy: “You just got poked. Poked by the Dagger!” Arrrrgh!

Finn: “What’s that saying – the show’s gotta go all over the place or something!”

Sunshine Corazon gets Quote of the Week:
“I’m such a better singer than everyone else so I know how it feels. I’m all alone at the top! Also, I’m Really short, so even when I’m in a group of people, it feels like I’m wandering alone through a forest!”

It wasn’t the best that Glee can do but it certainly wasn’t a disappointing return either. Three out of four fluffy puppies.

Star Trek: A Piece of the Action


Spock: "Logic and practical information do not seem to apply here."
McCoy: "You admit that?"
Spock: "To deny the facts would be illogical, Doctor."

I liked this episode a lot when I was a kid. I thought it was hilarious. So it's not great science fiction. It's definitely a lot of fun.

The Killing: A Soundless Echo


“I am just so ready to start living, I guess.”

It’s strange some of the things you think about when watching a show. I’m not talking major stuff like plot twists and character arcs but little, incidental things like how much the production team must spend on water for those rain towers. The Killing’s Seattle currently rivals Blade Runner’s LA and that nameless city from Se7en when it comes to non-stop torrential downpours. I’m surprised half the cast aren’t dying of pneumonia by now.

Well done to everyone who managed to guess correctly that it was Sterling in that video and not Rosie. You win a Faroese jumper and an all day bus tour of Seattle. So it looks like we can rule out Jasper and Kris as suspects. They might have no trouble taking advantage of Sterling when she’s drunk and vulnerable but, for the moment at least, it doesn’t look like they killed Rosie. Back to square one for our dogged detectives.

The Investigation

Poor Holder. While Linden gets some quality alone time with her Cylon sex toy he’s left riding the bus all day. At least his public transport odyssey paid off in the end. Linden should definitely save him a slice of wedding cake as reward. That’s assuming Rick and Jack don’t scoff the whole lot (nice to see them bonding). We now know that Rosie was having some kind of secret relationship with her teacher, Bennett. Too early to say whether or not there was actually anything inappropriate going on between them. It’s entirely possible that their relationship was completely innocent, just a dedicated teacher trying to inspire someone he saw as a promising student. But that letter did seem very personal. I’m not surprised Rosie chose to hide it in her Globe of Secrets.

Meanwhile, back on the love boat, we got a little more insight into our knitwear loving detective. Rick’s comments seem to suggest that this isn’t the first time that Linden has become obsessed with a murdered girl, likely the same girl whose son drew that picture. Was it a case that she failed to solve? Detectives don’t usually hold on to old case files because they’re full of happy memories. If so, it would go some way to explaining Linden’s motivation for wanting to stay and solve Rosie’s murder as well as Rick’s attitude towards her last time they spoke.

The Larsen Family

This week the Larsens had to go through the unpleasant task of planning Rosie’s funeral. If that wasn’t bad enough they then accidentally saw all those crime scene photos and finally understand the full horror of how their daughter died. Linden’s comforting lie just came back to bite her there.

I’m going to take a break from endlessly writing about how brilliant Michelle Forbes is and lavish some well deserved praise on Brent Sexton. Forbes might be getting all the show reel moments (like that gut wrenching church scene) but Sexton is doing some equally impressive work as Stan. Will knowing how his daughter suffered eventually push Stan into taking the law into his own hands? He might want to put whatever it was he did in the past behind him but it’s obvious that he’s getting frustrated with how the police are not telling him and Mitch everything.

The Richmond Campaign

So Richmond and the gerbil are secretly working together to expose the Mayor. That was certainly a surprise. I’d figured that the gerbil was innocent but I would’ve never have guessed that whole “screw you guys, I quit” scene was staged. Guess the councilman isn’t whiter than white after all. This plot strand suddenly just became, well, I wouldn’t say more interesting but certainly less uninteresting.

We were introduced to two new players this week, sports fan and shifty rich boy Tom Drexler and Senator Eaton, Gwen’s father. I’m adding Drexler to my list of suspects. So far that list only includes him because I haven’t bothered to compile a list of suspects yet. I don’t know what it is yet but there is just something about Drexler that’s making my spider sense go all tingly.

Think I’ll add Gwen’s dad to that list as well for two very good reasons. Firstly, film and television has taught me not to trust any US senators because they are always up to something dodgy (unlike our British MPs, who are always honest and would never dream of fiddling their expenses). And secondly, he’s played by New Zealand’s answer to Mark Sheppard, Alan Dale, here once again cast as a character’s powerful and disapproving father. Alan, I know typecasting can be a bitch but be glad more people now know you better as Charles Widmore and not Jim Robinson off Neighbours.

Notes and Quotes

--Jumperwatch: No change from last week. With any luck there’s something special in amongst all those clothes that Rick brought back with him.

--Holder hasn’t changed his clothes at all since day one. He’s got to reek by now.

--The passage Bennett quotes in his letter to Rosie, the one that made him think of her, comes from Beryl Markham’s memoir West with the Night. Here’s the complete passage: “There are all kinds of silences and each of them means a different thing. There is the silence that comes with morning in a forest, and this is different from the silence of a sleeping city. There is silence after a rainstorm, and before a rainstorm, and these are not the same. There is the silence of emptiness, the silence of fear, the silence of doubt. There is a certain silence that can emanate from a lifeless object as from a chair lately used, or from a piano with old dust upon its keys, or from anything that has answered to the need of a man, for pleasure or for work. This kind of silence can speak. Its voice may be melancholy, but it is not always so; for the chair may have been left by a laughing child or the last notes of the piano may have been raucous and gay. Whatever the mood or the circumstance, the essence of its quality may linger in the silence that follows. It is a soundless echo.”

--So if Richmond knew all along that Jamie was innocent does that mean he suspects Gwen is the mole?

--Holder, you silly boy, don’t you know you’re not supposed to distract the driver while he’s driving the bus. And just how long was that route anyway? Felt like he had been on that bus for days. Did it go on a magical mystery tour around the state or something?

--When I first saw all those Richmond posters hanging on the walls I was expecting Holder to find a picture of Rosie and the councilman. It’s probably still too early in the season for him to be fingered as a suspect.

--I’m sure any Stargate Universe fans watching got a kick out of seeing both Patrick Gilmore (Drexler) and Peter Kelamis (Michael – I’m assuming he’s Jamie’s replacement) in this episode. Anybody want to take a guess at which Vancouver-based genre actor we’ll be seeing next? No peeking at IMDB, please.

Mitch: “What good is that to me? She’s not supposed to be with god she’s supposed to be with me”

Lt. Oaks: “That junkie in there looks better than you do. You should clean yourself up and put on a suit.”

Richmond: “He hates politicians. He thinks we’re all hand puppets for rich lunatics like him.”

Rick: “I sent them to a French gangster movie. It’s like five hours long.”

Jamie: “How’d you know it wasn’t me?”
Richmond: “Because if you wanted to screw me you would’ve found a smarter way to do it.”

Eureka: Once in a Lifetime


... in which a terrible accident leads to the creation of an alternate timeline.

Stargate Universe: Common Descent


... in which the crew makes a shocking discovery when attempting to find resources on a nearby planet.

NewsFlash: Winter Is Here To Stay


Ausiello of TVLine reports that Game of Thrones has already been renewed for a second season. “This is the continuation of an exciting creative partnership," says the HBO president, doing an admirable job of making The Most Exciting News Ever sound like a very dull press release. Thanks to new writer Mark for the heads up!

Game of Thrones: Winter is Coming


“The things I do for love.”

[This review contains some back-story that hasn’t been covered yet by the show, but it does not spoil future events, just a few future revelations. It is safe for all but the most spoiler-phobic.]

Smallville: Kent


Clark: "This place isn't your home. Martha is."

This final season of Smallville has reminded me why I got into the show in the first place. They are no longer artificially extending the story past its shelf life. We're finally getting the good stuff.

Fringe: Lysergic Acid Diethylamide


“I’m not afwaid of you.”

Last season’s “Brown Betty” was about experimenting with form to achieve maximum emotional wallop. I adored that episode, both because I love all things noir and because Walter’s emotional situation was so complex and weighty that the unusual presentation seemed both necessary and inevitable—not a writerly choice so much as a real expression of Walter’s innermost emotional narrative. Like “Brown Betty,” “LSD” plays with presentation to explain an arc more affective than active.

The Killing: El Diablo


[Let's welcome long-time best friend of the site Mark Greig! He's going to be reviewing AMC's The Killing for us.]

"No, no flowers. Flowers die."

Three episodes in and I’m actually starting to warm to AMC’s take on the Danish Murder/Jumper show (or Forbrydelsen, as it’s better known to those who can pronounce it correctly). It’s still a little too similar to the original in places but not to the same extent as the pilot was. That, coupled with the sheer quality of the acting, especially the heartbreaking work by the former Ensign Ro, has been enough stop me from playing compare and contrast all the time and just enjoy the show.

Still not loving the jumpers, though. That isn't going to change any time soon.

The Investigation

At this stage it’s difficult to see Jasper and Kris as anything other than a pair of red herrings. The unwritten law of mystery fiction teaches us that the earlier someone is implicated the less likely they are to be the guilty party. I don’t doubt that those two did something very, very bad in that basement but it probably wasn’t to Rosie. We can’t even be certain that it was Rosie on that video. All we saw was someone in a black dress with a pink wig, the face was never once shown. So if it wasn't Rosie, who was it?

Linden’s inability to escape Seattle is starting to put a strain on her relationship with Rick the Cylon. He joked about it before but now it’s clear that he’s not happy she’s keeps putting off moving. Is he right to suspect that she’s having second thoughts about marrying him? Sarah keeps telling her boss that’s she’s not staying but methinks the lady doth protest too much. There isn’t really anything stopping her from getting on that plane. She could leave at any time but for some reason she just can’t pull herself away from this case. Is she worried that if she leaves the case will never be solved? I know that Holder has his faults but he’s demonstrated that he is a keen investigator. Yeah, his fake joint trick is somewhat sleazy but it does get results that Linden’s more stoic, stare driven methods would not.

The Larsen Family

Families can come together in times of grief but far too often they can also fall apart. Mitch is desperately trying to hold on to her dead daughter but as a result she is slowly distancing herself from her husband and sons. She’s practically cocooned herself in the sanctuary of Rosie’s room, listening to the answer machine message over and over again even going so far as to actually simulating drowning in the bath just to feel any kind of connection to her daughter. I can tell you now, if Michelle Forbes name isn’t up there when the Emmy nominations are announced there will be hell on.

The Richmond Campaign

The Richmond plot is still something I’m having trouble getting invested in. Unlike the Larsen or Linden storylines this one is still playing out almost exactly as it did in the original series. So for someone like me there are no surprises, no shocks or twists. It’s no fun watching when you can easily predict every action a character is about to make.Another problem is that, so far, there isn’t really anything that makes me want to like any of these characters. Richmond benefits from the fact he’s played by the Rocketeer but the others are so unlikeable. Jamie, for instance, is such a creepy little tool that I’m glad to see the back of him. Not that I don’t think he’s been set up. Like potential killers, you can easily rule out someone as a mole by how quickly they are implicated.

Notes and Quotes

--Jumperwatch: With her original having been damaged by Lyndon Johnson Rosales, this week saw Sarah show off a brand new piece of knitwear. It’s a bit plain for my liking, lacking in memorable patterns.

--Who is Reggie and what is her connection to Linden? In the original Sarah and her son went to stay with her nagging mother.

--Interesting that Richmond kicked out Jamie but still went and used his idea to win back Ruth.

--Who was Holder talking to on the phone and why doesn’t he want Linden to know?

--Am I alone in thinking chocolate chip pancakes sound vile? Its no fish fingers and custard.

Lt. Oaks: "Look, clear this thing I’m just an address and a Christmas card."

Ruth: "By the time those whores are done with you you’re going to be the punch line of a dirty joke."

Linden: "Let go of the idea you have some kind of BS detector."
Holder: "And how do you know I don’t have one those?"
Linden: "Because you dress like Justin Bieber and eat pork rinds for dinner."

Nurse: "Don’t tell me to chill, this is my ward."

Gwen: "He’s stealing from programs like yours that really make a difference."
Richmond: "Gwen, spare me the soundbite."

Holder: "I mean I never had dinner with my mom and look at me."
Linden: "That’s comforting."

Supernatural: My Heart Will Go On


Sam: "You totally butterfly-effected history."
Dean: "Dude, dude. Rule one, no Kutcher references."

My first impression? Good standalone episode that managed to combine The Butterfly Effect and Final Destination by way of Titanic. Very funny in a sick sort of way, the sort of dark comedy they do best.

Vampire Diaries: The Last Dance


“The fun is just beginning.”

...In which Josie bites her nails and forgets to breathe during the creepiest high school dance ever seen on television. Wow, that was tense!

Eureka: H.O.U.S.E. Rules


... in which Carter becomes fed up with business-as-usual in Eureka and threatens to quit, prompting S.A.R.A.H. to take steps to avert disaster.

Being Human: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Me Killing You


Aidan: "It's not like I borrowed his car without asking. I thwarted his plan of taking over the eastern seaboard."

What a lovely full circle season finale. Josh and Aidan were ready to kill or die for each other.

The story began with Josh and Aidan meeting for the first time when Aidan saved Josh from marauding vamps, moved to Josh sacrificing himself to save Aidan, to Aidan refusing to allow it. To round out the circle, it ended with a flashback to Sally's death, accompanied by Aidan and Josh passing by and talking about getting an apartment together.

That vampire High Noon showdown was surprisingly intimate. Aidan actually held Bishop in arms as he killed him. It reinforced the season's theme that Aidan and Bishop were much the same. They both felt a strong and unvampire-like impulse to be human and to love a human, and clearly, there was once love between the two of them. But even though the season finale could only end with Bishop's final dusting, I sure wish they'd managed to hang on to Mark Pellegrino. He is awesome. Bishop actually gave me the shudders several times during the season, and yet, I sort of felt for him, too.

(Interestingly, the first time I noticed Mark Pellegrino, he was playing Julie Benz's despicable druggie abusive ex-husband on Dexter, and he did it so well that I couldn't stand him.) (And coincidentally, Sam Witwer also had a substantial continuing role in the first season of Dexter, and his character was outright revolting. Too bad they didn't have scenes together.)

It was way past time for Nora to learn the truth -- and pretty much too late for her to protect herself from getting scratched. So it's fangs for Nora next season, but is it fangs plus diapers? Did she lose the baby, or did it just change with the full moon (and yech)? They never said. But would Josh have been so relieved and happy at the end of the episode if she had? Actually, I thought this week's Most Obvious Symbolism was Nora and the wolfed-out Josh prone and staring at each other through the crack under the door. Very sweet.

The Aidan/Selene plot worked, too, but it didn't quite come up to Mitchell/Josie -- possibly because BH/UK gave it more time. In fact, the plot similarity made me think they were going to repeat everything, but fortunately, no. Good job of mixing the original material with the new; it keeps us BH/UK fans on our toes, because we can still enjoy plot points we liked in the first show, but we're still never quite sure what will happen next.

Even though she's grown on me, I tend to think of Sally as a junior partner in this three-way story, but what she did surprised me. She betrayed Josh's confidence in order to protect him, even though it could quite possibly have caused Aidan's death. That was an interesting choice. It was a bit like Sally and Aidan felt their decisions had more weight, like they were Josh's parents. It'll be interesting to see which way her character goes now that she is semi-corporeal and without an exit door.

So bravo for a terrific first season. And how 'bout that cliffhanger? The return of the Amish vampire and.... what? Was he talking about a vampire queen? I'll definitely be watching season two, and hopefully we'll find someone to review it here at billiedoux.com.

But hey, producers of Being Human SyFy and Being Human BBC? Do you think you guys could talk on the phone and arrange it so that both shows don't air simultaneously? It sort of drove me nuts.

Bits and pieces:

-- The horrendous and horrible Marcus was inadvertently responsible for initially bringing Aidan and Josh together.

-- Was Sally trying to bend that spoon? Was that a Matrix joke?

-- A little Last Supper action with the three of them eating together for what might have been the last time.

-- Josh always takes off his Star of David before he turns (or am I confusing Josh with George?) but this time it had more meaning. Josh thought he was deliberately going to kill someone. Like losing his religion in a literal sense.

Quotes:

Aidan: "You don't bat an eye at me being a vampire, but nursing is weird?"

Selene: "I'd rather die for you than for cancer." And yeah, I get that. But it still bothered me that Aidan took her up on it. Vampires are users, I guess. It's their nature.

Aidan: "We should get cable."
Josh: "And paint."

Aidan: "So how was your night?"
Josh: "This is a conversation to be had over kale. (later) So how was your night?"
Aidan: "I think I want to learn krav maga."
I didn't know what krav maga was, but Dan thought it was hilarious.

Four out of four stars of David,

Billie

Stargate Universe: The Hunt


... in which the crew attempts to rescue T.J. and Corporal Reynolds after they get captured by a wild creature. Meanwhile, Rush, Brody, and Eli continue exploring Destiny.

Eureka: Purple Haze


... in which the town's residents mysteriously black out, then wake up with some major personality shifts.

Vampire Diaries: Know Thy Enemy


“Everything you touch falls apart.”

Full confession? I didn’t like this episode much at first. Vampire Diaries has never given us much time to get our bearings, but after a season of twists and turns abruptly bisected by a six-week hiatus, I needed a bearing. Or at least a little bear cub to explain via interpretive dance and diagrams exactly who knew what, who was planning what, and what the stakes were. Because somewhere in the middle of my 42-day crave-a-thon, I’d lost the thread of excitement that keeps me tied to this show.

Eureka: Primal


... in which Taggart’s nanotechnology combines with Fargo’s neural interface technology and Stark’s subconscious to wreak havoc at Global Dynamics.

Source Code


"Everything's gonna be okay."

I loved this movie. It was terrific. Moving and entertaining, exciting and fast-paced without surpassing my violence comfort zone, and surprisingly, while the plot centered around the worst that human beings can be, I left the theater feeling pretty damned good about people. How often can you say that about a science fiction movie?

Jake Gyllenhaal plays Captain Colter Stevens, an American Army pilot who wakes up on a Chicago commuter train in the body of a man named Sean Fentress. Colter is confused and has no idea what is going on. Eight minutes later, the train blows up and everyone dies. Colter wakes up in a pod where he is told that he cannot change what has already occurred, but that it is his mission to discover who blew up the train so that an even worse event can be prevented. Under the guidance of an Air Force captain named Goodwin, Colter returns and relives the same eight minutes repeatedly as he tries to uncover the identity of the bomber. At the same time, Colter unravels the mystery of his own situation and what is really going on in the pod.

This is the sort of movie that makes you pay attention and think while you're also being wonderfully entertained. I also find it rather amazing that the ending is both completely satisfying while at the same time open to interpretation. While still being its own unique self, elements of Source Code reminded me of Inception, The Matrix, and Groundhog Day, all of which are personal favorites of mine. What all four movies have in common is a captivating, original idea that is executed beautifully.

If this were a standard drama instead of science fiction, Jake Gyllenhaal would be nominated for a best actor Oscar; he had me in every moment of the movie. Vera Farmiga as Captain Goodwin turned in a marvelously subtle, standout performance. Michelle Monaghan was perfectly poignant as Christina, Colter's companion on the train. There's a delightful in-joke, as well; Scott Bakula, who is famous for playing time-traveling Sam Beckett in Quantum Leap, played the voice of Colter's father.

I honestly can't say any more without spoiling this movie. I'm even afraid that I already said too much. So I'm going to stop here. If you like good sci-fi, don't miss this one. The end.

Four out of four cups of coffee,

Billie

Stargate Universe: Seizure


... in which Rush and Dr. Perry find a way to enjoy some physical contact, while Telford enlists Rodney McKay and Richard Woolsey in an attempt to dial Destiny’s nine-chevron address from another planet’s Stargate.

Eureka: Right as Raynes


... in which Callister Raynes --- a beloved computer programmer who left Eureka after a fire destroyed Stark’s lab --- returns, just as the town begins experiencing a series of electrical hiccups.