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True Blood: She's Not There

Eric: "Who would you rather trust? A vampire or a politician?"

Everything felt different. Maybe because everyone had different hair.

Not that that's a bad thing. And I mean the story differences, not the hair. It just wasn't what I was expecting after the five hundred cliffhangers they left us with last season.


The resolution of the previously goo goo fairy silliness was surprisingly satisfying when the fairies turned into extremely creepy-looking monsters. How were they going to "harvest" the hybrid humans? Recruit them? Eat them? What is going to happen to Barry Bellboy? Was Claudine part of the "resistance," like her brother?

As soon as they started offering Sookie that lumiere fruit, I knew things were going to be bad; there are myths that if you eat food in the underworld, you can never leave. (Which makes me think the fae were recruiting, not looking for snacks.) Smart of Sookie not to fall for it. Our brief acquaintance with the not-as-lucky Earl Stackhouse was surprisingly touching. Probably because he was played by the wonderful Gary Cole, who can handle any role from hero to idiot and make it work.

Sookie's honeys

So what's next for Sookie, other than part-time work at Merlotte's and lying to her friends? She's isn't going back to Bill. I hope. Bill is King? How the heck did that happen? Last season, they left us with a face-off between Bill and Sophie-Anne. Did he kill her? How could that possibly translate into Bill becoming King? Wouldn't he be executed by the Vampire Authority for regicide?

Eric was apparently the only one who believed Sookie was coming back, and cared enough for her that he bought her house – and even spent a ton of cash fixing it up. Of course, he had an ulterior motive. He's back in her house, and now she can't make him leave. Why was he acting like such a jerk about it? Sookie won't take that "you are mine" crap lying down, pun intended. You'll never get her that way, Eric.


The witch stuff is in the books, of course, and I knew it was coming since they were obviously setting it up last season. One thing that bothers me about True Blood is that the episodes are too dense and there's too much going on, which means the stories I'm most interested in don't get enough air time. It was smart of the producers/writers to move several characters we already know – Lafayette, Jesus, Holly – into the witch part of the plot. We even have a spy for the new King hanging around the coven. I hope that'll mean less story fragmentation in season four, fewer tangents, and a stronger focus on the stories that interest me.

Marnie is certainly super creepy, even with the silliness of resurrecting her parrot. Was the poor bird pining for the fjords? (Are there Monty Python fans in the TB writing crew?) Anyway, great casting there. Shudder. I mean Marnie, not the parrot.

The gang at Merlotte's

I got bored with Sam's story last season, but seeing him handling his rage by running (so to speak) with other shifters? Loved it. I have no idea how Tommy ended up with Hoyt's mama, but they deserve each other. I bet Tommy is faking how bad his injury is in order to keep getting money out of Sam. Sort of can't blame him. Tommy has never had a good example to follow, or a decent home to give him stability. And Sam really blew it with Tommy.

Tara. Or as she is now known, Tony from Atlanta, with a brand new job. Eh. Glad she landed on her feet. But if she won't come back to Bon Temps for her best friend, I'm not thinking a whole lot of her right now, hot new girlfriend or no hot new girlfriend.

It's interesting that the honeymoon may be over for our lovebirds Hoyt and Jessica. That egg scene made me gag. And it's clear that she's going to be chowing down on a fangbanger sometime soon. Loved the way Pam was looking at her.

Speaking of too many subplots, I enjoy Terry and Arlene as supporting characters, but I'm very not interested in the Rosemary's Baby subplot. Even though the doll decapitation was funny. Very Dexter.

And finally... Jason

The biggest surprise was that Jason finally grew the heck up. He's not only a cop, he's a good cop. He was trying his best to keep Andy's V addiction under control (which is valiant but hopeless, as they'll tell you at Al-Anon, since you can't fix somebody else – you can only fix yourself.) He even kept his promise to the still absent Crystal and helped the "Deliverance extras" in Hotshot. That altruism just bit him in the butt, so to speak. I actually care about Jason now. Who knew that would happen?

I'm glad the time slip wasn't more than a year. That's long enough for some serious changes, but not so long that we're disconnected. (For a moment or two, I was worried that it had been so long that Jason was married and had children or something.) Maybe I was ready for a change, because I enjoyed this episode. I liked the pacing, and I'm very encouraged by the different flavors of seasonal set up. It may have been their best premiere yet.

Bits and pieces:

-- Alexander Skarsgard's name just got moved from the long alphabetical list in the credits to the top tier of the cast. And yay. About time.

-- I gotta repeat, great casting of Sookie's grandfather, Earl. Gary Cole even looks like Anna Paquin and Ryan Kwanten. We knew Earl for five minutes, and I nearly cried when we lost him.

-- The queen of the fairies is Mab. Maybe she knew Shakespeare.

-- Barry Bellboy has a male fairy godmother named Lloyd. Maybe "godmother" is a title without gender implications in the fae dimension.

-- Sookie's house has really changed. Bill's house has really changed.

-- Eric's Fangtasia commercial reminded me of why I love him. Pam's Fangtasia commercial reminded me of why I love her.

-- The "Moon Goddess," where the coven hangs out, reminded me of the magic shop on Buffy. So did Jessica dancing uninhibitedly on the dance floor at Fangtasia.

-- I want Lafayette to be happy, but I don't trust Jesus or his motives. Especially since Lafayette clearly has a lot more power than the other witches. Except for Marnie.

-- Lafayette now knows what happened to Eddie. I think.

-- We finally met Portia Bellefleur, and they cast Courtney Ford, who has been showing up in a lot of my favorite shows lately.

-- I was hoping for news of Russell Edgington. Maybe later.

-- In this season's hair report, ooo la la. Bill went black, Eric went shorter (and thankfully, once again blond), Arlene went darker and shorter, Lafayette went Mohawk and it looked good on him. Jason acquired whiskers, and Jesus lost his. And Tara rethought her extreme makeover in last season's finale.

-- Pam in leather. Mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm. Toasty.


Claudine: "I'm your... godmother."
Sookie: "I have a fairy godmother?"
Claudine: "It's not all fun and parties. Some of us have to work."
Sookie: "Okay, if your job is to look after me, can I just say, you suck?"

Lafayette: "Smells like where old air fresheners go to die."

Arlene: "Decapitating Barbie dolls? What the hell kind of baby does that?"
Terry: "Boys! Regular, ordinary, curious boys. When I was a kid, I used to put squirrel heads on lizard bodies and invent new animals."

Pam: (deadpan) "The blood is warm, and so is the service."

Eric: "We're always more than happy to serve humans here at Fangtasia. And I don't mean for dinner."

Pam: "Toilets are for humans only. Do I need to explain why?"

Pam: "That tree with the plaid shirt. He has a name?"

Eric: "You. Are. Mine."

I'd say a solid three out of four ex-parrots. And I'm so happy True Blood is back,

Billie Doux loves good television and spends way too much time writing about it.


  1. It's late and I'm tired and I thought Sam was into some kind of sex thing there for a while (that thing where people swap keys...). I also had no idea what the horses were about. Relieved to realise what was actually going on!

    Good opener and a refreshing change, though I really want it to get to the point already (also, Bill and Portia? Maybe they're going a different direction from the books - which I hope isn't a spoiler, as I really think that wherever they go with this it'll be... different). Very glad Tommy's still alive as well! He's not my favourite character, but still, glad he's alive.

    i kinda love Bill as King of Louisiana, though I'm sad about Sophie Anne - we never did get to see how much she really cares for Hadley.

  2. I got major BUFFY vibes from the "wannablessedbes." But they aren't really wannablessedbes, they actually are witches.

    Lala/Jesus are Tara/Willow given a TRUE BLOOD twist. Even though Jesus is giving off an air of something hidden or insidious (at least to me), I think he'll end up on the Tara Maclay side of things – a good brujo, but not dead.

    I really enjoyed the premier and I couldn't resist watching episode two On Demand. :|

  3. LOL, Juliette. :)

    HellBlazerRaiser, good call on the witches. I always think Buffy, but I wasn't relating Lala/Jesus to Willow/Tara. I hope you're right about Jesus.

  4. I wish we had more Gary Cole. He's given Sookie a personal stake in the whole faery business, but still.

    And good to see Charlie Pace's brother Liam was a faery all along.

  5. Loved this episode. Best premier in my opinion, it reminded me of season 5 of Lost. Billie, it's weird that True Blood magic reminds you of Buffy magic, I think True Blood magic is so much better. Less special effects, a little subtler, it really works for me while Buffy magic doesn't.

  6. Oh, my God,with so much happening this episode really flew! It all went so fast, maybe the excitement, maybe the long wait, or maybe because the stories were very interesting. So life went on without Sookie around for everyone, except Eric. It's so great to see them all back and to see how their lives have changed. Tara being a fighter made me laugh, but hey, that's what she always did all her life, fighting, now she's getting paid for it. And having her luck with men, I'm not surprised she decided to do chicks - very beautiful girlfriend by the way. The baby decapitating barbies was very funny too, but I'm not happy either with this evil baby plot. Maybe the baby is being haunted, that would suit me better, that's for sure. I had known Eric was the one to have bought Sookie's house from the moment Jason said he had sold it to a bunch of letters company. It's so him to have done that and also a proof that he never gave up on her. I'm interested in seeing how things will evolve, worried about the witch stuff, but so happy the series has come back. We can say we have all been well served, not as dinner, of course...

  7. The way LaFayette completed the circle and bird flew reminded me of Tara and Willow in "Hush" when they join hands and the furniture moves. Tara and Jesus may have less power than Willow and LaFayette, but they are both the catalysts for others to find theirs.

  8. Hey Billie!
    Do you have any plans to ever review the books?

    I haven't read them (I can't say if I ever will [I do have the first four because of the TRUE BLOOD cast covers] since I'm not too fond of first person narratives), but I'd love to read your thoughts on each book.

  9. HBR asked if I have plans to review the books. Actually, I've thought about it. Maybe before the fifth season. :)

  10. Loved this episode!! Witches are scary, it'll be interesting to see what will happen with them and how LaFayette will fit in. I loved the little bit of fast paced dialogue between Eric and Bill, and how Eric ended it with "apparently I have to go" XD

  11. I've seen the second episode On Demand, too. I'll be posting my review on Sunday night after the episode "officially" airs.

  12. I liked it but I´m still apprehensive because the witch storyline can go wrong, it depends of how they play it.


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