Destination: Coats Grove, Michigan
You guys, the trees are really killer in this episode. Ha! I crack myself up. ('Schizogeny' ranks in the bottom 20 for me, so prepare for self-amusement ahead.) If only the image above, which is very cool, weren't pretty much the best thing in the episode. (Unless you've been longing to hear the 90s 'tribal' soundtrack from 'Detour' again, in which case, this is your jam.)
Really, there's just a lot of 90s teen angst here. And it has a name... Bobby Rich (Chad Lindberg). And it's directed towards parents, teachers and authority figures, because you guys, teens are really bad and they're confusing and morose. Really though, they're just misunderstood! But wait, there's a semi-sensitive abuse theme, too (that Scully inexplicably holds onto throughout) that gets thrown aside, though it was never actualized in any real way so who cares, right? It's so bad! And there's one very f-ed up mental health care professional who is terrible at her job. Like seriously, THE WORST. There are gruesome deaths that make no actual sense and a story that tells the audience everything in the teaser then acts like there's still a mystery to solve. I mean the writing is atrocious. There's not much more to say, so here are some pictures.
Okay. There is something else great here besides that single iconic creepy pretty tree grove image... very great! Look who I found!
|Hi. I'm 12.|
But when all else fails, Mulder and Scully continue to look gorgeous. And that's never a bad thing. In fact, despite the weird, contrived, cliche-riddled mess of a story that does nothing for anyone involved, the two manage to glow.
|"I do not gaze at Agent Scully." (Yes, you do.)|
|Even in two sets of shoulder pads, I own this room in every way imaginable.|
|"Hey, Scully, is this display of boyish agility doing anything to turn you on?"|
Or, my personal favorite, when Bobby is being interrogated, for no reason that makes any sense at all, Mulder barges in with an evidence bag and when Boddy asks what he has, Mulder points to the bag and runs his finger along the word while he says, 'Evidence." If Mulder is normally a 7 on the flippant meter, this maneuver is a 92.
|Even the cop behind him is like that's pretty sassy for an FBI agent.|
Anyway, I'd never begrudge an iconic show such as this one a few unfortunate episodes. It happens to the best of them. So...
Final Analysis: Watch and swoon over the pretty actors or skip it. Either way, you won't be worse for the wear.